My Existential Blogging Crisis

Door Closed

Blogger, Writer, Tech Support

I stop by my blog every now and then to dust off the dashboard.“Why am I here?” I ask, waiting for divine intervention. But, all I got was spam.

Other times, I return to the dashboard after receiving a bad news email from a security plugin that’s a bit of a drama queen.

“Stop what you’re doing and get over here!” It said in a panic. “I found a virus in a WordPress file.”

My instinct was to ignore it. But if I did, the plugin would just send ten more emails, screaming in all caps, “IF YOU DON’T GET RID OF THE VIRUS, I’M CALLING THE CDC.”

To avoid ending up as a hot spot on the government’s map of diseases, I logged into the dashboard and wasted an hour trying to fix the problem while food deprived and cranky from working all day. Clearly, I was in no condition to tackle a WordPress pandemic of this magnitude.

I called BlueHost tech support who couldn’t help me. Thirty minutes on the phone with them resulted in a support ticket and “Good luck with that,” which galvanized me to fix the problem as I scarfed down a snack at my computer.

Technical issues are one of the hazards of running a self-hosted WordPress blog. I was clueless about 404 pages, plugins, and widgets before I made the transition from Blogger to WordPress — a birthday gift from my parents while I was unemployed. Though the last thing I needed was more stress in my life at the time.

The Blogging Conundrum

When I started blogging over eight years ago, I wrote about the pitfalls of having an open-ended schedule while looking for work and then keeping the work I had found. As I told my husband who thought that writing meant goofing off, “Blogging is my therapy. There are just so many hours in a day in which I can look for a job or hold onto one.”

Blogging kept me as sane as I could possibly be. As a creative thinker, one hundred percent sanity is a condition I try to avoid.

In 2010, after I became a member of the underemployment club and started working four days a week, I published fewer and fewer blog posts. Until a year ago, my blogging screeched to a stop and skidded into a ditch. I didn’t know what to write about. My creative GPS was directionless. She kept telling me to “Make an illegal U-turn if at all possible.” But I couldn’t because I was stuck in a rut after getting lost from all the confusing signs along the Internet highway.

Signs like…

“You need to have a direction for your blog.”

“You need to know your audience and write for them.”

“If you cover too many topics, you’ll confuse your readers.”

Blah. Blah. Blah.

“My readers?” I said. “You mean the trolls who leave spam comments and thrive on chaos? I don’t want to encourage them.”

Confusion Is Confusing

But, I was still confused. I stood in the ditch watching the traffic light turn from red to green while others, who knew where they were going, whooshed on past me.

Then a thought approached me from behind and tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” it said. “Maybe confusion should be the focus of your blog.”

“Isn’t that crazy?” I asked. “Confusion would be too confusing, unless…” And at that moment, I realized that the thought was right. I should write about my journey to find a focus for my blog and my writing, collateral damage from being stuck, as well as the distractions that drove me into a ditch. Confusion will be my hook.

Today, I embrace chaos.

39 Comments My Existential Blogging Crisis

    1. Lauren

      I know the feeling. Thank you. It’s been a struggle to squeeze out a post. I’m been trying to figure things out, work on writing goals and see how blogging fits into my world. Writing and blogging are different forms and require different approaches.

      Reply
  1. Brenda Moguea

    I think, have found when I think too much about what I want to write, I don’t. Ever consider thinking of your blog as an extension of your thought process? Your diary for all the chaos? One thing is certain–your words, whatever they happen to say continue to resonate.

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Thank you!
      You’re right about thinking too much about what to write. It’s probably a distraction tactic to keep me away from the keyboard. Just like overwriting is bad. Overthinking can be harmful to the process.
      I am embracing the chaos that is writing and will continue to write about my struggles. It’s cathartic.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Reply
  2. Kristen Mark

    Thanks for one’s Good posting! I enjoyed reading it, I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice evening! keeping this website

    Reply
  3. Debdeep Biswas

    Hi, there.
    This is really a good post on existence ob blogging. I really enjoyed a lot your reading Lauren. Keep posting mam such kinds of posts.
    Best regards.

    Reply
  4. bhawana

    hey hi what a post i enjoy lots off your post their is lots of information they will help us lot for our business thanks to share with is this interesting post

    Reply
  5. naina

    i read your post thanks to Such a great and necessary post I myself have dealt with trying to understand my motivations for blogging. I like that you share your personal experience with this, and that you come to a conclusion carry on .

    Reply
  6. Rina Ra

    Your content has been a way to obtain motivation for starters like me. It is clear and understandable, brief and very simple. More energy to you and your upcoming en devours.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.