Because I can’t taste you anymore. At least, not in the way I used to.
Several months ago, I noticed that trusted flavors lacked their usual zest: Garlic, yogurt, onions…all tasted bland.
Granted, I’ve never been much of a cook…Well, food tasted blander than that.
At first, I thought I was imagining it. But as time passed, I realized it was real. Food had lost its zing. It was just plain, tasteless.
Sure, at times a hint of peripheral flavors slipped through the vague ingredients. I was able to detect gobs of garlic, onions and even burnt toast.
Sweet foods tasted sweet but not in a savory way. All the flavors smushed together into one muted lump that confused my brain.
While eating a piece of cake, my brain sent a note. Hey, you. That’s supposed to be chocolate you’re eating.
But I taste nonspecific sweet, not dark chocolate sweet. What’s up with that?
I don’t know what to say. It looks like cake. But…the sights, textures and taste of foods just don’t jive. I knew what I was eating but there was a communication problem between my tongue and brain.
After being BFFs for so many years, suddenly they stopped talking. My brain sent another note one night while I was eating pepperoni pizza.
Hey, that’s cheese. Isn’t it? And spicy pepperoni with garlic.
But all I taste is a hint of spice. Not a specific spice. Again, totally generic and bland.
What’s up with that?
Well, I’ve got this stuff in the sensory area of my brain. Lesions force the neurons to take the scenic route, on the back roads, to where they need to go. Instead of the short cut they’re used to.
Oh, yeah, 2001. Now I remember being zapped with electrical impulses during the Sensory Evoked Potential Test. Hey, I was zapped. You just reacted. Well, it sucked just the same.
But what’s that got to do with the taste of food at a Chinese restaurant? Sensory, my friend. Senses, lack of taste…
You’ve always been a bit tasteless but never with food. Well, now we’ve come full circle, or rather full oval, the actual shape of my head.
Just do me a flavor. I mean favor. The next time you eat chocolate cake, smother it with hot fudge, mint chocolate chip ice cream and whip cream. Lots of sweet stuff.
Maybe if you inundate your tongue with a potpourri of sweets, you’ll get dessert justice.
Thanks Brain. Now I know why you’re in charge. But you still have my ass to answer to.