Paradise Lost

 

One forkful then another, she slipped the succulent oozing chocolate past parting lips, licking them clean, as luscious dark decadence painted her tongue. More, she wanted more chunks of rich cathartic bliss to scoop then swallow, lifting, then plunging into a yearning mouth; her only focus, she was oblivious to everything else, including the potential hazard of too much wine combined with devil’s food cake.

Delicious savory bits slid down her throat, satisfying a need inside, unmatched by the lack of fulfillment capabilities of her throat. The chocolate coalesced in her esophagus, blocking the one escape route for her lungs; gasping, she reached for the glass on the table, swiping it, it toppled on its side. The wine spilled, as she clutched her throat, collapsing face first onto the plate of chocolate cake.

 

I’m participating in Lillie McFerrin’s weekly Five Sentence Fiction exercise. This week’s prompt – Paradise.

NewFSFBadge-11

36 Comments Paradise Lost

  1. Nicky

    Now how the hell am I supposed to ever eat another piece of chocolate cake? Screw Weight Watchers, your writing is going to be the next diet craze.

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      I laughed when I read this at work. I’m honored you think my writing will be the next diet craze. : ) Flash fiction will do that to you.

      I’d still eat chocolate cake.

      Reply
    1. Lauren

      I’m a Chocolate addict. White chocolate, dark chocolate, peppermint chocolate. I love them all. Damn! Now I have a craving for chocolate.

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  2. June O'Hara

    Holy shit! The way your mind works never ceases to amaze me! I love dark stories, and you’re the master.

    Your description reminded me of a passage I read well over 20 years ago describing a food-obsessed woman’s experience of eating something. It was so detailed and intimate, it felt a little obscene to even read. I felt similarly reading this piece. Very well done!

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Thanks June. It’s a little ironic since I recently lost my sense of taste. Yeah, my color coordination skills also suck. But, I can’t really taste anything anymore. The MS is in the sensory area of my brain and it’s progressed slightly. It’s weird. I know I should be tasting certain foods and spices when I’m chewing. But, I can only sort of taste extreme flavors. Eating has lost it’s thrill for me.

      Reply
        1. Lauren

          I was diagnosed in 2001. Benign MS. I don’t talk about it much because I try to ignore it. I think that I’m extremely lucky. There are people far worse than me. Though, not being able to enjoy food is a bummer. The flavors are muted. And I only taste extreme elements: sweet, burnt, etc., yet not the actual flavors. I have to put a ton of pepper on food now, excluding ice cream and cake. It’s weird. My brain tells me I should be tasting certain things but I don’t taste them. Kind of like someone who has lost a limb. They still have the sensation of the limb being there but it’s not there.

          The MS is in the sensory area of my brain. I have cognitive and dexterity issues. Part of the cognitive problems are due to ADD and MS messing with each other. No one else in my family has/had it to my knowledge.

          Reply
  3. THE SNEE

    Yikes, Lauren! You give whole new meaning to “dark” chocolate. Your last few five sentence fictions are just so brilliantly composed;you get me every time. Is this endless white winter inspiring you to go to dark places?

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Love “dark chocolate.” Nice! Thank you for the amazing compliment. I also write dark fiction. I just haven’t written any short stories lately because of blogging. I actually have several stories I need to revise. I guess the winter has also contributed to my dark writing. : )

      I’m sorry I haven’t been by your blog. I’ve been working on my book. I’ll start making the rounds soon.

      Reply
  4. Babs

    These shorts usually leave me sad, but this one made me laugh. Thank goodness I don’t often eat cake – even chocolate cake 🙂

    Reply
  5. Phil

    YOWZA!

    This started out a bit like food porn, then turned into Black Humor.

    All I keep thinking is about that show on Spike – 1,000 Ways To Die !

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Hah! Food porn. My son loves 1,000 Ways to Die. The show is amusing. Especially, the one with the woman who was fishing. She yanked the fish in with the reel and the fish got stuck in her mouth. She suffocated to death. What a way to go. Catch of the day!

      Reply
        1. Lauren

          I know! And I thought I was accident prone. I always think ahead. Don’t keep the radio plugged in, on the side of the tub, while taking a bath.

          Reply
  6. injaynesworld

    You really sucked me in with this one. Dark chocolate and red wine are definitely paradise. Then when you pulled that ending on us, I truly LOL’d. That would be my luck. To be found face down in a chocolate cake! BAHAHAHA!

    Reply
  7. Dankas

    Ok, this is just crazy, I’m sitting here in from of my PC, eating amazing walnut vanilla ice cream and all of the sudden, I see this amazing chocolate cake, and I go, hmmm, I want one. I should really stop eating while surfing web. Too many calories 😉

    Reply
  8. Kim

    hmm pray tell …chocolate must have something that turns on the feel good button in the body for chocolate lovers cos i have chocolate almost everyday when i can, esp hot chocolate in the winter..i instantly feel satisfied and calm..scarry isnt it ;D

    Reply
  9. Kim

    today i had chocolate sorbet, raspberry sorbet from the ice cream bar at Wholefoods..arizona was v sunny n a warm 75 F today..4 tea i had a slice of carrot cake loaf and the banana bread, plain yogurt n watermelon…bliss slice of roast chicken breast with kale/tofu cashew porchini mushroom..then a run in the biltmore estate ..i smell flowers everywhere..jasmine, jacaranda, or is it the palm tree blossom??? spring is sweet in the desert;)

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.