Five Sentence Fiction – Devotion

Silhouette (Photo credit: Siddy Lam)

Deadly Devotion

She gripped the handle on the suitcase as if it were a hand that saved her from falling off a cliff and then slammed the car door.

When she whirled around, a heavy thud of footsteps gave way to a strapping silhouette slinking toward her in the night.

“I can’t let you go,” he said; as words caught in her throat, a plane rumbled overhead.

Two steps closer and a cold blade cut through sealskin deep into her chest. ”I’m taking you home,” he lifted her, cradling her in his arms, as the heart she hoped would heal bled out onto the coat he gave her on her last birthday.


Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction. 

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20 Comments Five Sentence Fiction – Devotion

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  2. Josie T.

    Captivating and dark, and a reality that is more common than we want to believe. Devotion crosses the line to become sick obsession. You painted that so well with your words, the coat gave an extra dimension of all that is involved.

    1. Lauren

      Thank you. I’ve always been interested in what impels a person to cross the line into dark territory.

      Too often we read news stories about women that are murdered even when they have a restraining order against a spouse. It’s shameful that women’s issues in general aren’t taken more seriously by some congressmen.

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  6. Jayne

    WOW! You blew this one out of the water. Brilliant expression of that thin line between devotion and obsession. And that last line: “…as the heart she hoped would heal bled out onto the coat he gave her on her last birthday.” Oh my God… Amazing. Lovely, lovely work, my friend.


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