Jake is smiling because he’s been eating chopped meat and rice for the past several days. No gauche canned dog food for him.
It all started when he heard a rumor at the dog watering hole.
Barney the Boxer got Jake’s attention with a doggy rope toy and a “pssssst.”
“Hey you, Jake. Come over here,” he said.
Jake nodded and bounded over to a pine tree, with low hanging branches, where Barney was waiting.
“Step into my office.”
Jake followed Barney beneath the branches.
“I’m going to tell you something ’cause I like you. I heard that Spot is eating chopped meat and rice instead of that canned crap.”
Jake’s ears twitched. “Are you pulling my leg?”
“No, I was sniffing your butt, but that’s not important now. I know how you can con your human into giving you packaged red meat.”
“Not exactly, but you’re close. All you gotta do is eat crap. You know, grass, dirt, litter box nuggets, fur.”
“Fur?” Jake barked. “Are you nuts?”
“No, dog. And I’ve got the pedicure papers to prove it.”
“I’m not eating my fur. It’ll make me sick.”
“You are crazy. You want me to get sick.”
“It’s only temporary. Your human will take you to see that guy in the white coat.”
“No, you stupid mutt. The vet. And you’ll get a car trip out of it, too.”
“I don’t know, Barney. It sounds risky.”
“Do want to eat the good stuff or not?”
“Of course, I do. I hate waiting around for a food dropping to hit the floor. And there’s that stupid human 10-second rule. If I don’t get to the food in 9, I’m screwed.”
“So, start eating crap today, and you’ll be dining on rice and hamburger tonight.”
Barney turned, as a Shepherd furball rolled toward the tree.
“I’ve got dibs on this one!” Barney growled.
Later that day, when the vet found fur, grass, dirt, and other indistinguishable matter at the tail end of Jake’s digestive system, Jake started a diet of chopped meat and rice.
Now, all the dogs are doing the con.
What’s the latest gossip at your local dog watering hole?