Yesterday, at five o’clock, my brain melted after a two-hour phone conversation with a QuickBooks ProAdvisor.
She hijacked my desktop, remotely, and then commandeered my mouse.
Several windows opened and closed.
The cursor sped across the screen, telekinetically, and then screeched to a stop at the taskbar.
“Just press this!” the ProAdvisor ordered.
WTF happened? The window disappeared. I think I just witnessed QuickBooks Armageddon.
The application quit when the locusts swarmed. Loser! So, what? It’s just a little buggy.
I shifted my chair into reverse, rolled backwards and braked.
Much safer here by the brimstone and fire.
In the name of the Lord, I renounce myself of QuickBooks.
It’s your mouse now. Feed it twice a day and give it plenty of water.
Now, click amongst yourselves.
If you need me, I’ll be over here doing my carpal tunnel exercises, bending and stretching my wrists, whilst you and QuickBooks consummate your relationship.
Be sure to remove the “Do Not Disturb” sign as soon as you’re done.
By that time, I’ll have roasted a bag of marshmallows and a bushel of brain cells.
Just send me the bill and I’ll send you the obituary.
At 5 p.m., Lauren’s brain died in the line of duty. R.I.P. cognitive function.
How’s your noggin?