Wireless Connection Lost! Patience Not Found!

Bond as Lady Angela in Patience, 1881

Bond as Lady Angela in Patience, 1881 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, after jettisoning from my desktop into cyberspace, Firefox bypassed Google, rerouting me to Internet purgatory, and the message, “Server not found!”

I responded with, “Goddamn it! You lost it again!”

To which Firefox said, referring to itself in third person, “Firefox can’t find the server at www.google.com.”

How could you without Google Maps? 

Ignoring my internal babble, Firefox continued. “Check the address for typing errors such as www.example.com instead of www.example.com.”

I get it! I’m not an idiot!

“If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer’s network connection.”

I did. It’s not your fault! But, your condescending attitude
is pissing me off.

So, I unplugged and plugged the router several times and still just had two lousy blinking lights.

It was time to call Comcast.

My conversation with Miss Voice Prompt went something like —

“Welcome to Comcast. Encuentra in Español, diga nueve.”
Engrish, please.
“Dial the number where you are experiencing the problem.”
Because you know that I’m not using your crappy phone service.
“Dial 1 for high speed Internet, 2 for phone, and 3 for TV.”
Nothing for all of the above?
“If the last three digits of your phone number are 666, press 1.”
I press 1.
“Ah, I see you just made a payment for $150.”
I know. I'm a schmuck!
“An outage has been reported in your area.”
No shit!
“Our technicians are aware of the problem and currently working to resolve the problem.”
Meaning, they’re sitting on the asses drinking coffee.
“If you have any other questions, press 3.”
Why the fuck don’t I have service? No prompt for that?

Then, the insulting, sarcastic, knife thrust in the brain stem —

“Thank you for your patience.”

To which I replied, “Patience not found!”

Does your wireless service get you wired?

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16 Comments Wireless Connection Lost! Patience Not Found!

  1. babs (beetle)

    I know that frustration so well. I count my blessings that, after many problems with ISP’s, I am now with a provider that answers calls personally. There’s something to be said for the smaller company.

    1. Lauren

      Wow! That is unusual. You’re really lucky. We don’t have a large selection of providers. If we want cable, we have to use the cable company that services our area. We have too many trees for satellite. DSL is the only other option, or dare I say, dial up.

      1. babs (beetle)

        We use DSL. That’s basically our best solution where we live. I was with this ISP many years ago, when there was only dial up to be had. I left them for broadband and was thrilled to find out that they had managed to keep going against the giants. Offering a quality service does pay off.

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  4. Jayne

    Comcast sucks. I was stuck with them for years. When I moved I inherited a local company that provides service via a satellite dish. Occasionally, I’ve lost service, but not for long and there is always a person to talk to.

  5. Nicky

    I feel your pain. I really do. I hate when Firefox gets all snippy with me, mocking me because it knows there’s nothing I can do about it. And you should hear Miss Voice Prompt in French. Sexy bitch. I hate her.

  6. ReformingGeek

    I get the dry heaves when I have to call our Charter, our Internet Service Provider. Fortunately, we don’t have many failures but when we do and I have to call, I laugh hysterically when they try to upsell me their Internet phone service.

    1. Lauren

      I love it! They must think you’re a lunatic. If they only realized that they were the cause of your affliction. You should sick Cat on them or send Evil Twin to Charter headquarters.

  7. QuirkyGrandma

    I feel your pain. Nothing makes me lose my patience than computer issues and dealing with any sort of “SUPPORT” offered by Time Warner. It is always fun lose your mind.

    1. Lauren

      I think the droning voice prompts are intended to break your spirit before you speak with the customer disservice rep. Sorry you have the same issues with Time Warner.

  8. QuirkyGrandma

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