Helping Widowed Socks Get Back On Their Feet Again!
Every ten seconds, a sock spouse experiences a devastating loss, a pair torn apart by a loved one missing or maimed, worn-out from too many hikes in the woods or spins in the dryer.
Their remains tossed in the linen closet to be used as rags, or worse, sock puppets for kids.
The Widowed Sock Foundation (WSF) helps sock spouses move forward with their lives, one step at a time.
Our certified caregivers help socks regain their self-confidence and stride while easing them back into the sock rotation at their own pace.
After a loss of a spouse, many widowed socks cling to the hope of seeing a loved one again, only to have their dreams shredded every time they’re lumped together with other single socks in the drawer.
Their lives become unraveled; their nerves frayed. Many shrink from society, lose their vibrancy and lead static lives. Many will never leave the drawer.
At the Widowed Sock Foundation, we employ caring, strong-minded people who always stand their ground and never pussyfoot around. Our caregivers take on every assignment with enthusiasm and grace, heart and sole, and always jump in with both feet.
Our caregivers, along with our proven twelve-step program, have changed countless socks’ lives.
“Thank you Widowed Sock Foundation!”
Every WSF caregiver has a doctorate in argyle and is an expert in sock psychosis. Only after passing a rigorous curriculum on “The Facts and Fallacies of Footwear Fatalities,” is a caregiver allowed into the field to consult with a sock.
For our caregivers, it’s gratifying to see a sock’s resilience as it stretches its limits, recovers its footing and mends the gap in the fabric that ripped it apart. Once a recluse in the drawer, now a single sock can enjoy playing footsies and mixing it up with other garments.
We, at the Widowed Sock Foundation, are proud of our caregiver’s service. Every day, they continue to make a difference in homes and laundromats, campus laundry rooms and frat houses, preventing widowed socks from taking a suicide spin in the dryer.
We, at the Widowed Sock Foundation, implore you to help us in our efforts to support widowed socks get back their standing in the community and leave a positive footprint on society. By donating one sock, you can stop needless suffering and make a single sock a pair again.
For more breaking sock news, visit The SNEE, the sometimes, eventual, express.