Captain we’ve entered the Limbaugh galaxy on a course bearing 666 at 275° toward the planet Dittohead.
Ah, the overpopulated planet inhabited by pimps and sluts.
Yes, Captain. Back in the year 2012, King Rush, the supreme leader of Dittoheads, proclaimed contraception evil and banned its use throughout the kingdom. Women were forced to get birth control on the black market.
King Rush dispatched DEA officers to crack down on the illegal use of contraceptives, forced single women to wear ankle monitors, and tracked their movements by GPS.
Any woman suspected of slut activity was immediately apprehended and thrown into the dungeon in the right-wing of the kingdom.
Many of these women went mad from a life of abstinence; others joined King Rush’s harem and provided him with sexual favors, as well as Oxycontin.
Eventually, all the illegal contraband was confiscated and burned, which led to the population crisis plaguing the planet.
Maybe we should send down a search team to investigate.
I would recommend against it, Captain. Anyone who lands on planet Dittohead immediately becomes infected with the highly contagious Sectarian virus, which scientists believe is responsible for the maniacal ramblings and misogynist views of King Rush and the Dittoheads.
I have identified the source of the Sectarian fever to be an aggressive strain of the 21st century Pandemic swine flu and recommend we quarantine the Limbaugh galaxy and immediately set a course heading toward sector APBH.
Any Place But Here.
Captain’s log, stardate 42254.7. We leave the Limbaugh galaxy without having explored the planet or interacting with the Puritanical misogynist life form.
I advise against the exploration of planet Dittohead, as we cannot risk infecting the universe with the highly infectious and incurable Sectarian virus.