A Left Brain Plot to Kill a Right Brain Post

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Fear hangs out with the letters on my keyboard among the dust clusters and granola bar crumbs.

Actually, fear appears as a red herring, a fishy character that presumably kills off my blog post. But I know the real perpetrator, Perfectionism.

The Perfectionist evil doer hijacks my brain, duct tapes my arms to the chair, and shoves a Cashmere sock in my mouth.

Bound and gagged, I’m forced to stare at a white screen with a gray border, not boarder, although Gray never checks out, unlike my distant cousin Focus.

At least, I don’t have to make Gray breakfast or change the linens on the bed. How could I with my hands duct taped to a chair?

I just wish Gray and White weren’t on the same page. Gray darkens the psyche and White never shimmers like a high-gloss shine.

Whose idea was it anyway to align a shady squatter with a faded screen icon.

Both hold inspiration prisoner in a dark subterranean room, while Perfectionism rewrites the sentences.

“Keep your damn hands off my words,” I say telepathically.

Then add, “You won’t get away with this. You meddling bitch.”

And she didn’t.

Unbeknown to my restrained right brain, an anonymous tip from a desktop informant alerted the literary authorities of my inspiration’s incarceration.

The SWAT team arrived, smacked the evils doers with the taskbar then removed the duct tape from my arms.

I opened my eyes to a normal window view with an expanse of white space to the right.

Thanks a lot, SWAT.

You saved me from perimeter torture and gray and white page border blight.

11 Comments A Left Brain Plot to Kill a Right Brain Post

  1. Juneohara65

    Fear hangs out on your keyboard among dust clusters and granola bar crumbs…a fishy character…duct tape. Your imagination never ceases to amaze me. And, by the way, being blocked sucks rocks!! So frustrating. I’m right there with you.

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      I’m blog blocked. I think I’m worrying too much about posting perfection and not having fun writing whatever comes to mind. Blogging has become too literary and less spontaneous.

      Reply
      1. THE SNEE

        I’m struggling with Blog block too. I don’t know when, or why I went from spontaneously silly to literary critic? It’s a real blog buster! The only way out is to press the publish key, the problem is……..what is the problem exactly?

        Reply
        1. Lauren

          The problem is pressure. You’re feeling pressure to write super human caliber posts expeditiously. Not Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. You’re writing for the masses instead of writing for yourself. IMHO, that is. Remember, it’s supposed to be fun.

          Reply
      2. THE SNEE

        I’m struggling with Blog block too. I don’t know when, or why I went from spontaneously silly to literary critic? It’s a real blog buster! The only way out is to press the publish key, the problem is……..what is the problem exactly?

        Reply
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  3. THE SNEE

    Based on this post, I’d say that you’ve definitely foiled the plot, or is the plot thickening?   I RELATE TO THIS POST! As we speak, my right brain is simmering in a pot of stew, and my left brain is stewing it. I’m just stewing over it.  Hmmm? It’s so great to hear your magical, imaginative voice, Lauren!

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Hi Rebecca,

      Thank you. I don’t know if I foiled the plot or not. I have no problem writing on mother earth. When I’m online, I get so overwhelmed. At times, I feel like I’m a modem. I just want to write. I can’t keep pace with the cyber carnival.

      I hope your right brain is cooking a tasty brew.

      Reply
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