How many remotes does it take to change a channel?
It depends upon what mode you’re in: DVD, TV, TiVo, or DVR (Digital Video Recorder).
When it comes to remotes, I’m usually in split-spleen mode because my technological knowledge only includes TV on and off, channel up and down and volume loud and soft.
I think TV remote management skills are inherent in the male DNA. I don’t mean to sound sexist, but I don’t know a remote thing about remotes, yet my husband and son do.
My knowledge of remotes is from observing my husband after tossing him the remote following several hours of non-effective button pushing.
After several months of couch surveillance, I’ve deduced . . .
- To watch a DVD movie, you need a DVD and TV remote plus a DVD.
- To watch On Demand, you need a cable and TV remote.
- To watch TV, you need a TV remote.
Using a TV remote should be simple, right. Wrong. Especially, when one of the males in the house sets TiVo to video game mode. You know who you are.
Just trying to coordinate several remotes to work with their respective functions sends my thoughts into a fast forward fluster right before panic sets in, and I think.
What if I accidentally activate the DVD remote while watching TV? Will the remote explode before my head does?
But finding the correct remote doesn’t solve all my problems. Because then, I need to find my remote companion reading glasses to decipher the tiny insect like numbers not meant for the visionally-challenged.
As soon as all my buttons have been pushed, it’s time to gather my minyan of remotes and press the button for TV— Nothing. I press again.
There’s a remote possibility the batteries may be dead.
I get up, walk over to the TV for my daily exercise, and click the button manually. A flash of light. Images wash across the screen.
I tell my husband, “The batteries are dead, Jim,” sort of echoing the words of Dr. McCoy. My husband’s name is also Jim, and coincidentally, he’s a Trekkie.
Regardless, the batteries are really dead.
Please refer to TV remote management 101.
When the AA batteries die, so dies the remote. When the AA battery supply dies . . . you’re shit out of luck.
Precisely the reason two remotes sustained fatalities after I smashed them against a wall. That’s when I called CSI Comcast and asked them to bag the remains.
Do remotes push your buttons?
- Hacked TV Remote Control Auto-Mutes Snooki (neatorama.com)