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In tribute to the brain dead politicians who wasted billions of dollars last week while trying to resolve the debt crisis, I’m reposting this piece from 2009.

Are you a Debtutant?

“Nothing says give me a break like a credit card slap in the hand,” the sales lady said.

“Yes,” the others echoed from a line that stretched around the room while sinking into the soles of their bottomless shoes.

They waited their turn to choose between heaven and hell among the wasted should have beens collecting dust on the shelf.

“It’s 20% off.” The sales lady said. “Just give me your card, and you can have whatever you want. It’s easy money. Don’t think about the mortgage or putting your kid through school. You’ve got to live in the now!”

“Greed is good,” the others chanted while toeing the line. “God Bless America.”

“Oh, say can you see. It’s bad to be thrifty. You need to spend to keep the economy healthy even if you’re dying from debtors disease.

“So, cough up the credit card. Forget about the lien against your home. Enjoy the fifty-foot flat screen TV with treble and woofer surround sound before the repo man comes to take it while they auction off your house.

“Live in the now, or you’ll live to regret the what ifs later when reality settles into the butt imprint you left on the couch, where you used to sit and click through 300 stations of shit on your remote control.

“You’ve got to live in the now!

“Stress will purify your soul. Don’t grow old and crapless. Keep the inside of your wallet free from mold. Air it out often with your debtor’s club card. Remember, money is paper. Plastic is gold.”

What’s in your wallet?