Warning: Blogging Crime Scene!
Sometimes it takes me two hours or more to write a blog post.
Initially, the words bleed out onto the page, but then I review what I’ve written and the autopsy begins. Afterward, I put the pieces back together in a postmortem revision.
I wonder if that’s a good thing.
Shouldn’t blogging be a mental carnage brain-dump without an analysis from internal editorial forensics?
My internal editor also removes word splatter from my clothes.
Reading a raw blog post with all its flaws is more entertaining than reading a post that has been tweaked to death. I’m guilty of murdering many of my posts. So, cuff me, bring in CSI, and dust this blog for prints.
My DNA is all over the Blogger dashboard. I always shed cells while bashing the keyboard with my fingertips. I’m surprised there isn’t blood on the screen from smashing my head against it when I have writer’s block a.k.a. thought constipation.
No one should suffer from thought constipation. Someone please tell me. Why isn’t there Metamucil for the brain?
I get thought constipation when I think too hard and painstakingly choose my words. I can’t even spell painstakingly right. There’s a red line under the word. I should leave it there to prove my point – but I didn’t. Damn anal editor.
What was my point?
That a polished post takes the spontaneity out of blogging and the fun out of writing extemporaneously. Wow! Spelled that right.
Is it me, or has blogging evolved into something totally opposite of what blogging should be?
Hermetically-sealed, prepackaged posts clutter my desktop. They shouldn’t be gathering dust on my desktop while the “all about” stuff wrecks havoc in my head.
The “all about stuff”- worrying about stuff that has nothing to do with writing – causes writer’s block.
Stuff like …
- What is my subscriber count?
- How many comments did I receive on that post?
- Am I wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday?
- How many bullet points constitute a proper list?
As bloggers/writers, we have to remember why we started blogging in the first place. For me, it was to prevent thought rot from damaging my brain. Rot also gets into wood and can create a termite problem.
That’s all I need – critters feasting on my brain cells.
Writing/blogging should be fun, not work. When blogging becomes work, it’s time to take a break and revisit your roots. My ancestors are from Hungary and Denver, Colorado. I have a picture of my grandmother when she was a girl seated on a horse drawn carriage. I was going to use the word “buggy” but it reminds me of termite infestations.
Hey! That was spontaneous. Live blog TV without the moving pictures. Before there were blogs, Twitter, and FaceBook, there was vaudeville and actors performing live in front of an audience without a rewind button.
I’d like to put my rewind button back into mothballs even though mothballs smell horrible. That’s why you put mothballs in places you rarely venture, like the attic where you can never find that book that went MIA or the closet with toxic BO blouses lying in a pile on the floor.
I guess a dry cleaner would be a more suitable place for the blouses if I want to spend money having a stranger clean my clothes. However, since I don’t know where he’s been, I’ll wash all shrinkable things cold, except myself. Even after undergoing therapy, I still prefer hot showers to cold.
I torture myself enough, which is why I need to write. However, writing is only therapeutic when words are victims of their own crimes or unpremeditated.
Let’s get rid of the rewind buttons, thesauruses, and expel spell check from our computers. Let it try to spell extemporaneously without looking it up.
Will I do a spell check once I finish writing this post? Damn straight. My internal editor is always looking over my shoulder and removing word splatter from my clothes. Although, I will place my editor in mothballs every now and then to see if she can handle the stench of preserving perfection.
What are your thoughts on blogging? Would you rather be outside doing dog poop collection?