Grim
You must write everything out.
Grimmer
E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g o-u-t. What’s the point?
Grim
There is no point. I put my hands in my pockets to avoid a point.
Grimmer
A finger point?
Grim
Yes, I had a finger point. You need to use your fingers to recapture the lost art of handwriting, not hieroglyphics. Management doesn’t allow writing on the wall.
Grimmer
Writing by hand is archaic, like sending emails by pony express but without the saddle sores.
Grim
You must waste your time by writing labels and envelopes in long hand, to execute the same repetitive action over-and-over again, until your head explodes or your hand falls off.
Grimmer
Isn’t that what a database is for?
Grim
I suppose hospitals have hand databases. You never know when you might wave too hard and say goodbye to that hand of yours when it goes flying.
Grimmer
Hands don’t fly, but pigs do, which reminds me of eggs and bacon. I’m having breakfast flown in from Eggs and Bacon Bay.
Grim
Is that near Bacon, TX?
Grimmer
No, it’s in Australia where they have detailed maps of public restrooms.
Grim
I can never find the restroom in this building.
Grimmer
That’s because they are Porta Potties on wheels or PP mobiles. Management likes to move them around based upon the Port of Call.
Grim
I need a PP location list.
Grimmer
Just stand by the Porta Potty door and tap your foot three times. When it opens, you’ll see a right-handed politico seated on the john or whoever, tweeting bird-brained words to his baseless base. He’ll hand you the PP location list on a piece of TP written in cursive – I’d wear plastic gloves if I were you.
Grim
Cursive. How refreshing.
Grimmer
It stinks.
Grim
No, it’s refreshing that the art of handwriting isn’t lost.
Grimmer
Oh, it’s never been lost, just flushed, or stuck to the bottom of a shoe. There’s a piece of TP, smeared with obscenities, hitching a ride on the sole of your shoe.
Grim
I can’t see it.
Grimmer
It’s there. Trust me. I’ve seen the writing on the wall.
Grim and Grimmer need to meet Happy and Dopey. Then they just won't care.
Wait. There's a Bacon, TX?
**packing bags**
I must find it.
I must have bacon.
Oh. Here's a supermarket and I see dogs running in circles. Yes, there must be bacon here.
Who are Happy and Dopey? Are they dope heads? Grim and Gimmer have got to get a life. There is a Bacon, TX. The almighty Google told me so.
I love grim and grimmer. Twisted, and with an odd sense of doom. Just how I like it.
Ha!
I really have to wonder as to the wisdom of teaching any of us cursive in the first place. The nuns were brutal about it, and now my own son has never really been taught cursive except as a side note.
I learned it, and have the writing bump to prove it. But this generation will have carpal tunnel and neck/shoulder injuries to prove they've learned to type, email, and text!
Great post, Lauren. Love the back and forth between Grim & Grimmer! 🙂
Thanks, Heidi. My handwriting has always been terrible. I think it's a fine motor skill deficiency. The keyboard was my savior. Glad you like the highly dysfunctional G & G.
I only learned how to type because my handwriting is so bad. Talk about Grim and Grimmer grades..oy!