Canine Wrecking Crew: Gutting Homes One Room at a Time.

We’ll Take a Bite Out of Your Couch, Not Your Budget.
 The Brains

If you need a chair or sofa stripped clean, my dog Jenny, a mutt and alpha dog in a pack of two, will do it for free. She has an eye for interior design, or so she would like you think if you’re a minimalist and prefer sparse decor.

We discovered her flair for decorating when she and Jake, her business partner and number two, destroyed two couches while my husband and I were at work earning money to pay for things, such as reupholstering couches.

 The Brawn

When we first adopted the dogs, we kept them downstairs in the basement, which has a doggie-door to an outside pen that opens into a yard – a canine utopia, or so we had thought. But the dogs saw it as more of a maximum-security prison. They protested their inability to gain upstairs access by decimating the two sofas in the basement.

Every day, my husband and I would return home to a couch in a new stage of disrepair.

First, the dogs attacked the cushions – ripping apart the material, removing the foam, and scattering it across the floor and outside yard. My husband and I walked the yard, in a search and rescue mission, looking for wads of foam that were M.I.A.

At the time, we had hoped to retrieve the foam, stuff it back into the cushions, and eventually have them repaired. Unfortunately, the dogs ripped apart the cushions faster than we could find the foam. Our yard soon looked like an ancient foam burial ground.

But that was the least of our problems. Jenny and Jake had started gnawing through the armrests.

So, we left the cushions for dead and concentrated on saving the sofas. We had a brilliant plan, or so we had thought. We would spray the sofas with dog repellent. It worked while we were at home when we could reapply the spray, but as soon as we left for the day, the odor disappeared. And the dogs went back to the business of restoring the sofas, in their minimalist bare-bone vision, without the unnecessary excesses of upholstery or foam.

After a month, the couches had been stripped down to the frame, which left Jenny with no place to sleep other than the floor.

That showed her!

Do you have doggie demolition crew at your house?
Enhanced by Zemanta

11 Comments Canine Wrecking Crew: Gutting Homes One Room at a Time.

  1. Mrsblogalot

    It could have been worse…you could have had beanbag chairs.(-;

    And how adorable and sweet are those wrecking crew faces?

  2. Lauren

    Yes, although beans in the front yard would likely attract the deer. All I need is to have farting deer hanging out on my front lawn.

    Thank you. My dogs do have faces like angels. Teeth like werewolves.

    My grandmother used to say the same thing about me, minus the werewolves teeth, which she substituted with "… a mouth like a sewer."

  3. Mr. Stupid

    Dogs hate couches and cushions. They have been fighting ever since… (don't know which year)
    The dogs always seem to win. But there are people who get the couches repaired all the time.
    Your Dogs are very cute….:)

  4. ReformingGeek

    Perhaps the furniture looks like bacon?

    We had a couple of dogs that ate their little plastic swimming pool in the backyard.

    Some dogs just can't handle boredom.


  5. Meagan Frank

    I'm not sure this is the best post to convince me to listen to the pleadings of my kids to bring home our own wrecking crew!

  6. Lauren

    RG: You'd think the dogs would have figured out that if they chewed up the pool, they wouldn't be able to swim in it.

    Meagan: I'd do it all over again but would do things differently. My husband and I were gone all day. I would have hired someone to walk them.

    Dogs can't be left alone for long periods of time when they're young. They also need to be socialized even if they come in a pack of two.

    Also Labs are notorious chewers. The innocent looking smiling dog, the brawn, is a lab-mix although they both have very sharp teeth.

  7. Carl

    Hi Lauren..It has been awhile since we have connected..Is nice to see that you have the same style! you always make me smile..:)
    I hope all is well with you.
    Stay in touch,

  8. Lauren

    Hi Carl. Thanks. It's great to see you. I stopped by earlier to drop you a line or two. Things are well. Thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you.

  9. Ziva

    Everyone should have their own ancient foam burial ground in their yard, and as soon as people realize that, you'll make a pretty penny renting out the dogs.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.