BP Funded Fish Kill Habitat Opens at New Orleans Aquarium.

On any given day, New Orleans Aquarium Curator, Mary More Ron, can be found trying to feed the unresponsive porpoises that float on their backs in a tank filled with oil-enriched sea water.

A simulation.

“Sure, it’s a challenge and a waste of time,” said Ms. More Ron. “But BP is spending millions of dollars on another frivolous effort. You can’t fault them for that.”

Still each morning Mary More Ron takes the drive to the Aquarium, past the low-income neighborhoods that look like they were just hit by Hurricane Katrina, while mulling the Aquarium’s decision to add more fish to the exhibit tank.

“Every day the garbage barge dumps loads of oily fish onto the loading dock, and everyday we drop them into the tank. “God love them.” Her voice cracks as she reflects on the garbage barge crew and captain, for whom she has the utmost respect.

“They’re heroes, out there day-after-day, rescuing sea carcasses from the oil slick that threatens the Gulf, as well as the future of the sea carcass industry.”

The ordeal from the ongoing rescue operation is evident in the bald spots on Ms. More Ron’s head. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult,” then rips another clump of hair from her skull. Only after the medic finishes dressing her wound and injecting her with a sedative, is Mary able to continue. “Frankly, I don’t know if I can handle seeing another bin of adorable oily sea corpses. “Although …” She adds, “… I’ll do the best damn job I can under the circumstances.”

Despite her concerns, Ms. More Ron has seen positive results from the oil extraction efforts by BP engineers in the neighboring shark tank.

“The engineers work on extracting oil from the water and carcasses 24/7, so that tourists can fill up their tanks with gas on their way to the beach.” When asked if she thought the oil slick sand would hurt the tourist industry, Ms. More Ron responded, “Only if someone falls on their ass.”

Mary More Ron also addressed the recent regulations affecting the beaches at night. “It’s true. The Coast Guard has banned all bonfires after dark due to the possibility of oil ignited firestorms.” She shakes her head. “It’s a shame. The repercussions from this disaster run deep.”

With regard to the rumors that the Aquarium plans to hold live shows in the Fish Kill stadium tank outdoors, Ms. More Ron stated, “Not this year, unfortunately. We just don’t have enough handlers in the water to drag all that dead weight around.”

Ms. More Ron then perked up when she began talking about the new Oil Spill Touch Tank in the adjacent exhibit hall. “The kids will love trying to grab hold of the crabs and turtles before they slip through their fingers.”

The Aquarium hopes to bring in thirty-thousand visitors alone during the month of July when they open the new Waterfoweled exhibit with dead Terns, Pelicans, and Laughing Gulls.

For more information on the Fish Kill Exhibit and the oil spill clean up effort, visit http://twitter.com/bpglobalpr.

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10 Comments BP Funded Fish Kill Habitat Opens at New Orleans Aquarium.

  1. Mr. Stupid

    The situation's getting pretty worse. With so much of oil leaking, the ecological habitat around the area will get disrupted.
    Nice post. Have a good day…:)

  2. Lauren

    Mr. S: I've felt compelled to write about it because it's such a mess. I think this will be the last post about it for a while.

  3. ReformingGeek

    Yes, it is a heart-breaking situation.

    I would like to see the BP execs swimming in the oily water.

  4. Tracie

    As per someone's FB status, a BP oil executive said there are other places in the world to get shrimp. (Don't know how accurate this is quote is.)

    This entire situation is a tragedy for the environment and the economy.

  5. Lauren

    Tracie: I was just watching Anderson 360. BP execs have been lying from day one. They're more concerned about their bottom line and legalities than they are about the disaster. These guys suck!!!!!

  6. Ryhen

    Mary More Ron…haha. Honestly, I didn't get that the first time I read the name. Makes me feel like a moron. Oil spill tragedy… hmm… I guess I'd be outraged like most people if I'm not a consumer, but really, aren't we all responsible for this? hehe. Nice post Lauren. You always come up with interesting characters.

  7. Lauren

    Thanks Ryhen. I don't think we're responsible. I think Corruption was responsible. Corruption can be an evil son-of-a-bitch.

  8. Leeuna

    Poor little birds and fishes. Mary More Ron must be related to those BP executives, Stu Pidity and Corr Uption? 🙂

  9. Lauren

    Leeuna: Yes indeedy. Ms. More Ron is related to the clueless oily dimwits that keep tripping over their own feet from the oil that gushes from their slimy skins. Maybe they should work on stopping that leak, too.


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