Spam–What is it good for?

A scammer’s email that dropped into my spam folder like bird excrement>>
Subject: kindly consider my proposal. (Reply: kindly go f**k yourself)

Good Day 
(good riddance)

Let me start by apologizing the manner at which i approached you without prior communication.  
(your present communication ain’t so great either). 

I am Patrick Chan, the director of operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd Hong Kong
(and I’m Ivana Trump, ex-wife of the Donald)

I will need you to assist me in executing a business project worth five million five hundred US dollars, that involves transfering the said fund from my country to your country.   
(As someone with no financial background or mathematical aptitude I am totally qualified to assist you in said fund transference. Are you familiar with Freud? Perhaps this is a transference of your stupidity)

Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account, we shall then share it in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you. 
(Do you want to build a house on swampland? This is just like that only more insane, i.e., see the previous section on Freud)

Should you be interested in this project, please kindly reply me in my private email:, so that i can give you the full detail of the project.  

Your earlier reply will be highly appreciated, thanks for your consideration.  
(thanks for the attempted con)

(go to hell! or back to spam land)

Patrick Chan

8 Comments Spam–What is it good for?

  1. ReformingGeek

    Dear Patrick,
    I am forwarding you email advertisements I have received for enhancement medication. You may be able to use them since you may (or may not) have a male sexual organ.


  2. Jana

    Hi Lauren…I feel bad for any poor bastard who dares tangle with you!

    Can you believe the cheek of such people?

  3. Paul Blanchard

    Hey, that sounds like a good deal! I'll just publish my bank details here, could you forward them please?

  4. Lauren

    Ha! Jana. They deserve to be ridiculed because they are so offensive.

    No problem, Paul. Just include your account and routing numbers. 40% isn't bad but Patrick Chan is. He was so kind to send me his private email address, so that I could warn people of his spam scam.

  5. Mr. Stupid

    Hi Lauren. Hi Patrick.
    Well, firstly why would Patrick want to transfer funds when he isn't sure where you're from! LOL
    I thought the 40% 60% was a bit unfair. Don't you think? Maybe 50-50…:)
    Anyways, Patrick failed in convincing you with his "Business Project".


  6. Lauren

    Mr. S: You scared the bejusus out of me. Patrick is an idiot! These people should be banned from using email.

  7. Bonehead

    Whew! Just glad to know that my e-mails were going out – I was concerned that somehow my Internet Provider was blocking them – Regards, Pat


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