Parallel parked on the couch and other beautiful bloggy things.

In keeping with the caffeinated version of the Academy Awards that aired this past Sunday night, I’d like to move this along at rapid heart beat speed and thank Confessions of a Reforming Geek for this esteemed award. Confessions of a Reforming Geek is a hilarious geeky lady with an evil twin that lurks somewhere deep inside her compose window and wrecks havoc upon her blog and readers’ minds. Funny stuff!!!!As the lights have already started blinking and the hook is cradled snugly around my neck, I need to quickly segue into my list of things that I think are beautiful.

  • Plane ticket to Tahiti
    • I don’t have one, but if I did, I would bow to its beauty as I hurtled thirty-three thousand feet above the earth toward island bliss.
  • Fully-stocked refrigerator
    • I’m talking about a year’s worth of ready-made dinners, drinks (be creative), condiments, staples, i.e., ketchup, etc. and not the silver goal post shaped thingies that fit into a stapler and jam at critical times, like when stapling.
  • Closet filled with new clothes arranged seasonally
    • I’ll take clothing from any designer outlet store: TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc. I’ll find someone who physically matches my body type and have her try on the clothes for me, while I sit at Starbuck’s sipping a Mochachino Coffee.
  • AA shoes in any color and style
    • I’ll take anything! Shoes never fit me. I was born with bird’s feet.
  • A pizza delivery
    • Shiny white boxes (there are four of them perfectly aligned in stacking order) glimmer beneath the incandescent outdoor lighting, as the pizza delivery boy approaches my front door while sweating onto said pizza boxes (and you thought that was pizza grease).
  • An empty sink with matching empty dishwasher
    • I don’t want to see any dirty dishes ever again. I only want to see clean dishes neatly piled inside the cabinet, glasses and coffee cups separated (they cannot cohabitate), forks, spoons, and knives placed in their proper slots. Absolutely no intermarriage of silverware.
  • The inside of my eyelids
    • Eyes tightly shut, thinking of zzzzzzzz’s, dreaming in 3D Technicolor.
  • A hot cooked meal that I was not involved in preparing
    • I can’t afford to take a sick day.
  • A bowl of chocolate chip mint Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Hell! A bowl of any flavor Häagen-Dazs ice cream
    • Give it to me, baby!
  • White sand squished beneath my toes
    • See Plane Ticket to Tahiti.
  • An hour lunch.
    • Forty-five minutes is not enough for writing, eating, and driving to where I’ll be writing and eating.
    • I need my blogging fix or otherwise I get cranky. Eating is also mandatory. Driving is not, but gets me to my lunch destination faster than my bird feet.
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13 Comments Parallel parked on the couch and other beautiful bloggy things.

  1. ReformingGeek

    Thanks for the nice comments about me and Evil Twin, O Beautiful One!

    Tahiti: YES
    Clean dishes: YES, and I'll take a dishwasher that will actually clean the dishes.

    Funny stuff here. Funny stuff.

  2. mommapolitico

    Sleep. Ah, sleep. I remember that. It was before kids, right? That thing where, upon waking, you felt refreshed and weren't trying to read out the to do list you scribbled at 2 a.m., right? Yes. A beautiful thing.

    You're consistently able to make me laugh, Girlfriend. Congrats on the well-deserved award!

  3. Lauren

    Thanks, RG (or is this Evil Twin disguised as RG?). I absolutely loved your green hairdo and story about your clueless neighbor's descent into the mud.

    Thanks, Perry. Sleep, I remember ye well. That ship has sailed and only returns to port in calm waters.

  4. J

    This list includes everything that my perfect life would have…especially the no washing dishes part and making someone else try on clothes for me. 'Intermarriage of silverware', you are truly funny!

  5. Ryhen's Mind

    HAHA! You mentioned a handful of stuff that I'd like to have for myself too like the fridge, the pizza, ice cream, and the inside of my eyelids. I bet you think about all of these things while you're working. hehe.

    Anyway, I dunno how many times I've said this, but sorry for being away. haha. Just fixed a lot of things in my life recently. Nonetheless, I think I'm back for good… for now. lol.

  6. Lauren

    Hi J: This list was an easy one to come up with. Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it. Finding an exact body type to try on my clothes is a key short term goal. : )

    Ryhen: I'm glad you're back!!!! Working and blogging don't play well together.


    First congrats on your award, how nice is that??

    You had me going right from the beggining of the post. Funny how you thought of a trip to Tahiti at the top of your list. That is where I would have it on mine as well.

  8. Will

    Hi Lauren.
    I'm finally back in North -America ,goodbye good old Europe and big brother looking over your shoulder to whatever-whoever you're surfing – typing or calling to.
    My mom completely recovered from her knee replacement surgery it's a great succes no need for crutches or even a walking stick i'm really glad.
    Now i can finally concentrate more on my blog ,cause between cooking -walking the dog and shopping there was not much free time
    have agreat week !

  9. Bonehead

    Congrats on the award! I must say – any list that I might create that includes happy things would also and always include sleep and pizza.

    Two of the essentials of the good life!

  10. Lauren

    Mrs. B: Thanks and Thanks.

    Glenn: Thanks. Tahiti is on my "dream" list. Hope we both make it there one day.

    Will: Welcome back! I'm glad that your mom's surgery went really well. Sounds like she'll be dancing soon. : ) Wow! You were gone a while.

    J: Sleep, pizza, and Tahiti. Don't forget about Tahiti.

    Hi Me-Me: Yeah about that lunch thing. I've got ten minutes left until my head explodes.

  11. Pingback: Lauren Salkin

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