Sarah Palin Magazine: Straight from the moose’s mouth to your bleeding ears.

Camp Buehring, Kuwait - Alaska Governor Sarah ...Image via Wikipedia







Oprah she ain’t!

Sarah Palin Magazine – Coming soon to a newsstand near you. (They still have those?) The only magazine with run on sentences and fictionalized accounts of the facts.

“The genesis of it was really simple,” said Steve LeGrice, the publisher and editor of Imagine That. “We’re up here in New York, and there was clearly this huge enthusiasm for Sarah Palin . . .

He must be confusing New York with Russia. She can see it from her house, you know.

” . . . and at the same time all the people in the media world were sitting around scratching their heads” about how people could support her.”

Scratching their heads because of the lice they contracted from the free hats she may have been handing out. The hats, that once belonged to a minion of moose she shot with an AK-47 from a helicopter, were immediately recycled and placed into the promotional drawer upon extermination of the hosts. She used Dick Cheney on the ground as back up, instructing him to aim his rifle in the opposite direction, thus ensuring a direct hit.

“What we decided to do is put out a magazine all in her own words,” he said — a magazine “without any opinion or anything added in.”

Wink. Wink. Nod. Nod.

The Palin issue contains what LeGrice said are family pictures of Palin not previously published by a magazine — including her as a child with her siblings and a dead bear bleeding over a stump; picking through shot white birds; holding a cardboard box of fish freshly caught at an ice hole; and with moose antlers still attached to a fragment of bloody skull.

Charming. Sounds like one of my family pictures minus the dead bear bleeding over a stump and other sordid animal carnage.

 “I want people to know what I stand for and judge me on that … read in my own words who I am. Don’t believe the things that are made up,” the magazine quotes Palin as saying.

It was horrible how CBS doctored the footage of the Katie Couric/Sarah Palin interview to make Sarah look like an idiot. That’s right! They didn’t have to touch a thing, thus saving CBS the need to incur the extra expense. Palin really was an idiot and couldn’t name one newspaper she read. I guess she had better luck with magazines, which is a great reason to launch one.

So, walk don’t run to your nearest newsstand (I swear the last one I saw was on the corner of 42nd and Park) or convenience store to get your copy of Sarah Palin Magazine, retailing at $8.99, around the same price she paid for building her Wasilla house.

Will you buy a copy of Sarah Palin magazine to
A.  read?
B.  cover the bottom of your bird cage?
C.  display in magazine racks at abortion doctors’ offices?
D.  bonk right wing extremists over the head every time they say something offensive?
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16 Comments Sarah Palin Magazine: Straight from the moose’s mouth to your bleeding ears.

  1. wngl

    Instructing Dick Cheney to aim the opposite way in order to guarantee a direct hit is the smartest advice I've heard for him. We wouldn't want Sarah Palin's face marred by buckshot, would we?

    As for her mag, I'll pass. What a waste of ink and paper that will be, not to mention the toxic by-product, environmental and spiritual, of having it produced.

    Reply
  2. Will

    Hi Lauren.
    Somehow i get the feeling you don't like Sarah Palin.
    What concerns her magazine i'll pass not my kind of lecture.lol
    Yes Alaka it must have been the best deal ever in history those poor Russians they tought they had a great deal till 23 years later the gold rush started.
    Sold to the U.S. for 7.2 million $
    it suddenly coughed up 390 tonnes of gold or 12.5 million ounces of gold counting the current price of gold you could say the U.S. was well off.
    Will.

    Reply
  3. Carl

    Hi Lauren,
    One never has to speculate on where you stand.:)
    I still have lots of questions about S. Palin. she has been an easy target for sure.
    Take Care
    Carl

    Reply
  4. Lauren

    James: She is toxic.

    Will: She scares me. When she was on the campaign trail, she spewed hatred from the podium that incited very racist crowds.

    Carl: She makes herself a target. On the one hand, she's a breath of fresh air because she says what's on her mind. On the other hand, she is a loose cannon and will say anything, even if it's toxic. Worst of all. She is worshiped by very scary people.

    Reply
  5. Bonehead

    Oh this just can't be. It's so scary how she's now become the pied piper of the extreme conservative's and their skewed view of the country.

    Besides, I would think that you'd have to at least have the experience of reading a magazine before you put one out with your name on it.

    Reply
  6. Lauren

    Tracie: Hamster bedding is an excellent idea. I bet Palin would hurl her moose soufflé if she knew her magazine was being recycled to help the environment.

    J: Yes, it is scary she's at the top of the heap, and I do mean heap. Maybe the magazine has lots of pictures of animal entrails in a pop up version and doesn't include any pesky words.

    Reply
  7. ManOverBoard.com

    Oh this was tooo funny. I have been out of the loop and had no idea that Sarah could spell. I bet it's mostly pictures of Moose-heads and has a centerfold of Rob Morrow the little dude from Northern Exposure.

    Which in all likelihood could be the reason she says some of the things, she thinks. All that freezing cold air can do that to a mind, especially one that tilts far to the right 😉

    Reply
  8. Mr. Stupid

    HAHA. Now that is one magazine, I wouldn't want to read. I don't even want to peek into it at the magazine store.

    I guess on reading the magazine, it would be from the moose's mouth to our bleeding eyes….lol

    Have a great weekend…:)

    Reply
  9. Lauren

    Glenn: Ha! I don't think Sarah is doing any of the spelling. Your cold theory is an interesting one. You may have just cracked the problem with the Palin family genetic code. Brain cell frost degeneration.

    Mr. S: Maybe the stores should sell the magazine as bonfire kindling.

    Reply
  10. mommapolitico

    "What we decided to do is put out a magazine all in her own words," he said — a magazine "without any opinion or anything added in."

    Dear God, what a mess that would be! I don't see how they could produce anything readable if they truly go with her grammar, semantics and lack of thought.

    But, hey, if they were true to their quote, it could be the best Christmas present the Dems have had in years!

    Great post, Girlfriend. You have a gift for tongue-in-cheek sarcasm and ya turn a great phrase!

    Reply
  11. Lauren

    Perry: You said it! What a mess and media blitzkrieg. She was keynote speaker at a recent Tea Party bash. Glad you liked the post.

    Reply

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