My dog ate my snow shoe and other digestible thoughts.

Dogs, you can’t live with them; you can’t live without them.

Oh, that’s men, but my husband has never eaten or attempted to eat my snow shoes.

Wrong picture. That’s a deer, a doe, a female deer.

My dogs, however, (I have two of them) love to chomp on leather, or cotton/polyester products with a foam center, kind of like an Oreo. I’m talking about pillows of any breed.


The main suspect and perpetrator is Jenny, a Sato dog, who once lived on the streets of Puerto Rico eating garbage and anything else that helped her to survive. Now garbage is just an hors’devour.

Jenny stares at an open food compactor, as if it were a buffet table. Garbage cans are snack trays. She gives a whole new meaning to the expression “dumpster diving.”

I once caught her lying on a bed eating tissues from the Kleenex box she grabbed from the nightstand. Maybe tissues taste like cotton candy or chicken.

Anything of questionable taste, other than clothing, is immediately put into the chicken column, although no one has ever accused chicken of tasting like anything questionable unless it involves my cooking. And my husband has used some choice words to describe my culinary expertise, before consumption (BC), while still in the baking dish set on the counter in a Good Housekeeping photo op moment. I wish! And after digestion (AD), when said chicken carcass and husband carcass end up in the can.

But I’ve wandered off topic again and find myself slowly edging back to the point . . . that my dog ate my snow shoe, which is now in a flip-flop state, meaning that when lifting the shoe, most of the heel remains on the floor. Not good for icy conditions or walking in general.

In the case of another pair of snow shoes I own, one of the shoes is now a widow since her better half has bitten the dust, or more aptly, been bitten. We have lots of widow and widower shoes in the hall closet. They lie in mourning, saddened by the untimely deaths of their shoe spouses. One day I will discard the widowed shoes, but right now I honor the memory of the poor departed soles. They mate for life, you know.

Do you have any widowed shoes?
If so, what caused their untimely demise?

21 Comments My dog ate my snow shoe and other digestible thoughts.

  1. ReformingGeek

    No widowed shoes but we had a dog that ate his plastic swimming pool…

    We have widowed gloves, the poor lonely things just wait on the counter hoping against all hope that their mate will re-appear.

    Sad. Very sad.

    **wipes away tears**

  2. wngl

    I'm still digesting this fine tale of the canine culinary but can say safely that it goes down better than a shoe. (Werner Herzog is the expert, as seen in his short film of eating his own shoe after losing a bet. I'm not kidding.)

    We had a sweet pug/lab runt by name of China who had it in her head to put anything she came across into her belly. Leave out a pan of grease and it could be expected to disappear, followed shortly by puddles of hack. She had an exotic (and improbable) pedigree, but she could never fall back on the excuse that she lived on the streets of a foreign city getting by on garbage.

    I have a widowed wingtip in the entryway. It cries itself to sleep every night, incon-sole-able.

  3. J

    That was just too funny Lauren, just like many of your posts. I have been reading your blog for some time now and you never cease to amaze me with your amazing powers of comparison. Comparing your one snow shoe to a 'widow' was awesome!
    I for one do not have a very happy relationship with dogs. I feel they are all aiming for my neck from a mile away. But if you love them i guess you put up with a lot quite happily.

  4. Mrsblogalot


    All my shoes are still together. Arguing and fighting for closet space as usual….except for the hot high heeled pumps-they just need to get a room (-:

  5. Carl

    Hi Lauren,
    Very funny post I think most of us can relate to it with varations on the snowshoe :)Great reponse from Wng..
    Hope all is well with you..
    Take care,

  6. Lauren

    James: Very nicely done. I try to suppress a laugh about your widowed wingtip but can't help myself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  7. Lauren

    J: Thank so much for your kind words and for being a long time reader. Reading your comment was such a lift and makes me feel like I'm not blogging in the dark. Again, thank you for sticking around so long.

  8. Lauren

    Hi Carl, and thanks. I'm doing well. Thanks for asking. James comment was great. Keep up the great work on blogging about the new food regulations. Great job!


    Lauren it's amazing what dogs will actually eat. Actually animals in general. I was watching Nat Geo the other night and they were showing how large anaconda snakes are overtaking South Florida. This is because so many people had them as pets, but they grew so large, they would just take them and dump them into the Everglades. Now they are starting to go into populated areas and boy oh boy what these snakes will eat is amazing.

    They showed one that they captured and dissected it and found a few cats inside of their stomach. Not to mention that these snakes can get so large they believe they have eaten humans before. I wonder how we taste?

    Sorry got off on a tangent huh?

    I did want to stop by and thank you for continuing to stop by my blog while I have been literally tearing it apart and putting it back together again. Your comments have been very much appreciated and helps to keep me motivated to continue to get the blog back together.

    Because I am not part of the traffic services like I used to be, I forget how many wonderful blogs I have missed. But I have been adding the blogs I love to my favorite blog list and when I need to I can just go there and click on the link to bring me to them.

    My memory isn't what it used to be, so this helps remind me to go visit. I just added your blog to my list.

    You have a wonderful blog and a great way of making people who stop by to see you, become fast friends. So once again, thank you for not forgetting about MOB 🙂

  10. Lauren

    Hi Glenn, Thank you. I really appreciate the great comments from you about my blog. It makes blogging so worthwhile.

    I think I saw something about the snakes in Florida on Discovery. I recall something about finding a human skeleton in one of the snakes. Yikes! And they thought crocks were bad.

    I don't think we taste like chicken, although I don't have a point of reference other than steak tartare. : )

    Good luck with the redesign. I always enjoy stopping by You've got such wonderful content. Thanks for adding me to your blog list.

  11. Bonehead

    Our dog eats pretty much anything as well, but thankfully has not chewed any of our shoes (no doubt in part to the horrific smell). We do seem to have an incredible amount of widowed socks however.

  12. Lauren

    J: Dogs do have hyper sensitive noses, so I can understand how an overpowering stench could curb their appetite. Do you have undocumented evidence that the dog ate the socks? Maybe the dryer did it.

  13. Mee2

    I used to have many widowed shoes. My dog Goldie used to chew on my shoes when she was younger. But only my shoes. Never anyone else's. She is a Labrador Retriever and they are NOTORIOUS for chewing on anything and everything. Never anyone. Now we have another Lab who is still less than 2 and he loves to chew on anything that is in the trash can, on the counters, or in the bathroom garbage. I believe his favorite is toilet paper. It doesn't matter if it's clean, used or still on the roll. Oh yes, and he loves to eat my 5 year old daughter's socks. Whole. And beanie babies. Whole.

  14. Lauren

    Hi Mee2, I guess dogs consider toilet paper fun food. Your lab probably follows your daughter around the house, waiting for a sock to slip off. One of my dogs is a lab mix. Destroyed two couches. At least now he's into smaller game. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  15. Me-Me King

    What I have never understood about a dog's varied diet is when they eat cat poop. This is the most disgusting thing ever when your dog jumps up to greet you with cat poop breath. Ack, ack, buuuuiccccck.

  16. Lauren

    Me-Me: I don't get the cat poop snack thing either. We had to put a lock on the door where we keep the cat box, otherwise our dog pushes the door open. Talk about having a potty mouth. Yuck!

  17. Lauren

    Hi Tracie. I have a theory about missing socks. In the dryer, there is a portal to the fourth dimension, which is accessible through the high setting and contingent upon the dryer model, as well as the density of the clothing within. Also, sheets and blankets have been known to feed upon socks during full moons and El Nino weather cycles.


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