Women better at parallel parking baking dishes than cars



Double parked car with diplomatic tags in San ...


Women worse at parking than men, study shows – Telegraph

The truth is I can’t cook or park.

By using a completely absurd title, I will attempt to prove a point here that may take a bit of meandering. Please stick with me on this one and help humor me by reading my deranged rant on bureaucracy and sexism in parking, an important matter that far exceeds the gravity of the economic crises or global warming.

This is how the Telegraph article opens:

Women are slower and less accurate at parking than men, according to a scientific study that confirms the suspicions of many male motorists.

First, I’d like to know how many male motorists were involved and who they were. I want names. Was my husband questioned for this study?

Now that I got that off my seatbelt restrained chest (more restrictive than a bra), I admit it. I can’t park. Whether it’s vertically parking between the lines in a shopping center, parallel parking on a street, or just attempting to stay within the lines in a coloring-book, I just can’t seem to get it right.

However, despite my admission of poor parking practices, I have to ask the question. Which lamebrain bureaucrat approved the funding for this frivolous study? I could have done the study free, waited in a parking lot with a camera, and filmed people parking all day. Like I have nothing better to do.  I don’t!

In my video, I would have included a highly sarcastic running monologue about waste in government and how they should park their butts at a desk and solve real problems, instead of sitting behind the wheel watching dingbats ding the crap out of parked cars.

Although the pencil pushers would not have approved my parallel-parking test, it would have reached the same conclusion. Men are better parkers. So what? Do we give them a medal or just the distinction of being the best freaking parkers on the planet? That’s definitely worth a trip to Disneyland or at least a bribe to never complain about a husband’s driving again in return for a day of shopping at Bloomingdales, the preferred destination of choice.
More from the article:

Female drivers take an average of 20 seconds longer to park their cars but are still less likely to end up in the middle of the bay, the research suggests.

I’d say a minute and a half, easily, if crying, then add another thirty-seconds. I’m assuming that “bay” here doesn’t mean a body of water, otherwise I’d already be swimming with the fishes.

And this illuminating piece of news:

As part of the test 65 people were asked to park an Audi A6 family saloon in a standard-sized parking space.

That’s the problem right there. I can’t hold my liquor. Who conducts driving tests in saloons anyway?

And this little gem:

Their manoeuvres – including head-on, reverse and parallel parking – were timed and rated for accuracy, which was judged by how far they kept the vehicle from the edges of the bay.

A language clarification here. For the folks living on the side of the pond where the steering wheel is located on the left and correct side, manoeuvres is the British spelling of the word maneuver, although it does look and sound a bit like manure. Boy, I’m glad I didn’t step in that one.

What do you think. Are men better drivers than women?



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21 Comments Women better at parallel parking baking dishes than cars

  1. Eric the New Orleans Modern Drunkard

    This was too funny..but I have to agree that women are not as good at parallel parking as men.

    I live on a busy street in New Orleans and people have to parallel park on my street. Inevitably, women struggle the most trying to park and spend the most time. While men tend not to be afraid of cutting in or hitting the curb thus they get in there faster and more efficiently.

    I love this blog by the way.
    ~Eric the New Orleans Modern Drunkard

  2. Lauren

    Eric: Thanks so much!! The article said something about women not having the same proficiency in spatial relations as men. My spatial relations suck. I don't know if that is true of most women. Really appreciate your stopping by and commenting.

    Selfdeprecate: Glad you liked the headline. Thanks so much for commenting.


    Hi Lauren, hope you had a fantastic new year celebrations. You blog is one of the most interesting blog in this blogosphere. And this post too is quite humorous. Well, I can't say exactly but yes, my observation says that women are better than men in most of the things. I think I can also include driving in that.

  4. kys

    I will admit to being a horrible parallel parker. Our old van had what I referred to as an Idiot Alarm on it. It would beep to let you know when you were about to hit something. Sadly, we traded that van and I no longer parallel park. At all.

  5. Lauren

    Aswani: I hope you had a wonderful New Year's. Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I agree, women are better than men at most things but have to disagree that parking is one of them. : )

    Kys: I need an idiot alarm! Avoiding parallel parking at all costs is the way to go. I guess then you need to perform creative parking maneuvers, a whole new subject for another post.

  6. Will

    Hi Lauren.
    I just hope my better half doesn't read my comment.Lol
    It's strange but yes women seem to have probs parking.
    I guess the reason is they are used to glair sidewise out of their corners of their eyes at men ,a thing men can not we turn our head to stare at women!Lol
    Have a great day!

  7. Bonehead

    Seriously, I wonder if a family saloon is a detriment towards the efforts against drinking and driving.

    On Long Island, we rarely have to parallel park, and when we venture into the city we typically wimp out and find a parking garage, so I'd venture to guess that the parking skills of my wife and I are probably about even.

    That being said – I'd still prefer to be behind the wheel when the two of us are in the car. But I'm terrible at parking dishes 😉

  8. Lauren

    Will: I won't tell. It's weird. Isn't it? I guess women have a different parking gene. Ah! So that's it! The evil eye. Ha!

    J: Uh. I guess you two even each other out somehow. Kind of like the "you complete me" cliché, only you two really do.

    You gotta work at parking those dishes though. : )

  9. Mr. Stupid

    Hi Lauren. Well, at least we both have something in common. I can't park either. The only difference should be, I can't park my Bicycle! 🙂

  10. Lauren

    Mr. S, Is the kickstand the problem or maneuvering it into the bicycle stand? But can you park a baking dish?

  11. Mr. Stupid

    Hi Lauren, well no problems with the kickstand. Only the maneuvering part. I overshoot my parking position. And then have to go back all the way around to park. You may ask, all this fuss for a bicycle? Well, believe me, parking not my thing.

    Don't worry, I park the baking dish perfectly. On its center of gravity 🙂

  12. Ryhen Satch

    First, I'd like to know how many male motorists were involved and who they were. I want names. Was my husband questioned for this study?

    hahaha. Well, if you want names, maybe it would comfort you to know that some guys arrived on my doorstep a couple of weeks ago asking me if I would be interested to take a survey. They told me they'd give me pop tarts in exchange for my time in answering a few questions. I was delighted, so I gave them the most honest answer I can ever say. I don't think women suck at parking… No… Not At All. =)

  13. Lauren

    Ryhen: They bribed you with pop tarts? Is that how they pay you at work? New monetary system. I guess. Might be worth more than the dollar. Thanks for debunking the study.

  14. Brian Miller

    what an amazing use of government moneys…shaking head…as far as which gender is better..i think each has its own anchors of terrible drivers that pull down the numbers..happy tt!

  15. Lauren

    Thanks, Brian. You, too. If I represented the female driving population and the numbers were based upon my driving, I would definitely skew the numbers lower.

    Definitely agree about the waste of government dollars. I think they believe it's monopoly money.

  16. Matty

    Yes, it was a waste of money. Why spend the time and money studying something that everyone already knows. LOL

    My wife is one of them. She can't park to save her life.

  17. Lauren

    Thanks, Jingle.

    Matty: I think there's a secret arm of the government that researches ways to waste taxpayer money.

  18. Baino

    Ha! Funny as. Nah don't believe a word of it! I can reverse park with my eyes closed. Isn't that what bumpe bars are for?


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