REAL JOBS – FAKE JOB DESCRIPTIONS
ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
Administrative assistant needed for bus.
Administrative assistant needed for bus.
For those who love to travel and make unnecessary stops.
Recreation Therapist
Looking for people who are specialists in
restless slide syndrome,
compulsive swinging disorder,
and social climbing complex.
We’ll Pay You To Process ®Dish Network Orders Online
This employer listed five different salaries and pay plans
for the same position.
for the same position.
If you enjoy uncertainty, then you’ll love working with
one of our many different pay plans:
one of our many different pay plans:
- We’ll Pay-You $200+/Daily
- To Process ®Dish Network Orders Online
- Entry Level! Earn $270/Daily
- Processing Orders For ®Dish Network
- We’ll Pay-You $200+/Daily
- To Process ®Dish Network Orders Online
- We’ll Pay-You $1000+/Week
- To Process ®Dish Network Orders Online
- Entry Level! Earn $120-$270/Daily
- Processing Orders For ®Dish TV
Specialty Sales Representative – Dermatology
Must enjoy working with zits, blackheads, and oozing puss.
Packers/Loaders & Unloaders!!!
If you can lift your ass out of bed, you can lift anything.
Outgoing People Wanted!!!
The incoming need not apply.
Lubrication Technician
Enjoy greasing the monkey?
Sales Agency: Hiring Directors of Fun
Will train whiners, grumps, and the repressively inclined.
Full Charge Bookkeeper
Must be battery operated or have a long extension cord.
Package Implementer
Looking for people who don’t get boxed-in while assembling cartons.
Please let me know if you’ve stumbled
across any weird jobs lately.
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Hi Lauren.
Got you a few odd job offers.LOL
Cake Stripper – operates a machine used in the cottonseed oil business.
Chick Sexer – inserts illuminating tool into baby birds to determine gender.
Gang Knife Fish Chopper – chops fish into pieces for canning.
Mother Repairer – improves metal phonograph record matrices.
Redye Hand – sorts and bags hose and panty hose for redying.
Rug Hooker – operates device to make piles on rugs and carpets.
Scarf Gluer – joins together plywood panels.
Have a great day!
Will.
LOL! Thanks, Will.
Funny! I'm wondering if the company looking for those outgoing people would ask them to come in for an interview. It's probably one of those positions that are like a revolving door anyway…
J, I guess that would be an oxymoron or just the moron asking them to come in for an interview. 🙂
These jobs are truly odd jobs. Great observation. Great humor. Wonderful post. Thank you…
Thanks Dr. J.
Very funny!
Thanks, Kys!!
The titles look really appealing, but to me, jobs in general suck (big time) and the society stinks. I think we should all go back to planting crops and sniffing entheogenic plants all day long. ahh… nirvana…