Stuff that makes my head explode

 

A list of incendiary vices

Prescription drug commercials about digestive or urinary problems, skin conditions, depression due to said conditions, or erectile dysfunction med symptoms that cause erections to last longer than 72 hours, sudden blindness, insomnia, and incessant howling at the moon.

Squeaky supermarket carts with broken wheels stuck in a perpetual right-hand turn behind old ladies with blue hair.

People listening to new and archived voice mail messages on speakerphone in the dressing room next to mine.

Drivers that use the brake and gas simultaneously while driving on dry, level grading.

Being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic behind a hot dog truck when I’m starving.

Losing my car keys and finding them in the refrigerator.

Losing the milk and finding it in the car.

Trying to negotiate my way barefoot through a dark room with shards of dog bone fragments scattered
across the floor.

Stepping barefoot in dog puke and having to hop all the way to the bathroom at the opposite end of the hall,
only to find that the door is locked.

Not being able to read anything without glasses and because of it . . .

  •     Setting the oven to 450 degrees instead of 350 ergo blackened meat loaf a la residue.

Reaching for a dishrag with wet hands and find that it is not there. It is across the room on the kitchen table with
the other dishrag that went MIA two days ago.

Not being able to find my glasses on my nightstand or anywhere else since I need my glasses to find my glasses.

Waiting for a gaggle of geese and extended family to cross the road, so they can poop on my lawn.

What makes your head explode?

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14 Comments Stuff that makes my head explode

  1. Nancy

    I"m right there with you on the relentless, epically long prescription commercials.

    What makes me insane is are the people on line at Dunkin Donuts, who walk around with bluetooth headsets on and talk loudly to whoever it is on the other side of that phone call. The worst!

    Reply
  2. Lauren

    People who talk loudly with bluetooth headsets should be ticketed for speaking above a certain level decibel. I just pulled this off the American Speech-Language-Association Website.

    Warning Signs of Hazardous Noise

    * You must raise your voice to be heard
    * You can't hear someone two feet away from you
    * Speech around you sounds muffled or dull after leaving a noise area
    * You have pain or ringing on your ears (tinnitus) after exposure to noise.

    Reply
  3. J Giddy

    I would imagine sticking it in the microwave would make my head explode.

    Other than that – my annoying neighbors who inexplicably walk their dog at 4am instead of letting it do its business in their own backyard. I don’t have a problem with them walking their dog, except that my dog with the very loud bark seems to take offense to it – and let's the entire neighborhood know exactly what's going on by louding voicing her objections.

    Reply
  4. Lauren

    Ha! A microwave would most certainly make your head explode. Yuck!

    When my neighbor's dog barks, my dogs start barking. Chain reaction. I get it in stereo but not at 4 a.m. That sucks.

    One of my dogs has a loud bark that echoes. She likes to stand at the highest point in the yard and bark. It's a real crowd pleaser.

    Reply
  5. kasabiangirl

    That's a lot of stuff you have mentioned there in your post =)

    Hmmm…waiting for things really makes my head explode..
    Back here in India the traffic jams sometimes stretch over an hour and the queues are so long. 40% of my life is going to be spent standing in queues at this rate 😀

    Reply
  6. Tawnya

    What makes my head explode, um… Oh having to repeat myself to someone who keeps saying huh to me. You get one shot, if I have to repeat myself and there is not a good reason, sorry you lose.

    Being made to wait in the drive thru of any fast food joint for 15 minutes or more only to be told when I reach the window the thing that I ordered is out or they don't have any of it. Signs people!

    Reply
  7. ASWANI

    Lol..Very interesting. Hard to say what explodes my head. cannot remember but then I too have faced some similar problems like you in my life too.

    Reply
  8. Lauren

    Kasa,

    Getting stuck in traffic makes my head explode, too. I used to commute to a job 40 mins from my house. The traffic was typically bad on Thursdays and Fridays, but I could always count on a traffic surprise most other days, too. What is a queue?

    Reply
  9. Lauren

    Tawnya,

    The "huh" response is an insult and means that someone wasn't paying attention. At least If they said "excuse me?" it's possible they may have a hearing problem and that's excusable. Waiting on line and finding out that they are sold out of the item you wanted, really sucks. Boom!

    Reply
  10. Silent Poet Klaus

    Communication gap here in the gulf sometimes is so unbearable.

    I am asking for material certificates from a supplier he replied "Why need birth certificate?"
    May I note that plural and singular form here doesn't count. Someone ask me once or maybe trice "How many "wife" you?"

    Reply
  11. Pingback: Lauren Salkin

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