How to avoid being rude in the nude?
Nude Pool Etiquette:
- Remove your clothing as soon as you find a lounge chair – ten-second rule – before your tush smooshes the cushion.
- Always act naturally while removing your clothing in front of a bunch of smiling, naked strangers.
- No gyrations or sexually suggestive movements allowed while removing clothing. This is not a strip joint.
- Always bend from the knees down, never from the midsection. No one wants to look at that.
- Hat, sunglasses, and suntan lotion are the only accessories permissible.
- Standing around casually conversing with naked people is encouraged only if you are naked, conversing, and casual about it.
- The head is the only body part that is permitted scratching.
- As soon as you are dressed, you must leave the pool area immediately, or you’ll be forcibly removed by the big, fat hairy guy with man boobs.
- Nametags and other pinned items are prohibited unless you’re wearing a hat.
- If you wear clothing in the pool area longer than ten seconds, you will be considered a pervert, not the naked people.
- No handstands allowed in the shallow end of the pool.
- Nudists must remain at least 3 feet apart from each other at all times. No cheek kissing (upper or lower), hand shaking, or shoulder tapping allowed, especially if visually impaired.
- No picture taking permitted unless it is of wildlife (not wild life), i.e., birds, rabbits, or roosters, not the other word used to depict roosters.