Happy New Year to Humans, Cats, and Writer’s blocks!


Created in Microsoft Word
Created in Microsoft Word. 

Writing Avoidance 101


Chapter 1
Clean out the closet: 
 –  Color coordinate clothing and group by season, color, and gradation of wear.
 – Arrange shoes by comfort level and tripping scale: 3-inch heels, 2-inch heels, flat soles, rubber soles, no soul.

Chapter 2
Add extra meals to your day.
 – Dawnfast (before breakfast)
 – Pre-lunch quality control (brunch makeover)
 – Midday food dalliance
 – Late afternoon gorge fest
 – Dinpost Snack (after dinner snack before dessert)
 – Midnight Heartburn Raid

Chapter 3
Go Shopping.
– Buy something, anything to get yourself away from the keyboard. 
Caution: Do not bring a laptop. It will distract you from shopping.

Chapter 4
Take a nap.
 – After breakfast
 – After lunch
 – Before dinner
 – After Dinpost
 – Go to bed.

Chapter 5
Take a head trip.Tahiti is nice this time of year.
 – Please refer to: Why head trips are Cost-Effective? 
Note: Dual headphones with USB port available for head trip shares.

Chapter 6 
Pretend it’s New Year’s Eve (Wait a minute. It is New Year’s Eve!)
– Drink Whiskey or another imbibing liquid and invite over friends.
Caution: Driving and/or writing while intoxicated is prohibited, especially simultaneously. It’s just plain stupid. You’ll get your writing credentials revoked.

Chapter 7
Pretend you’re a best-selling author and throw yourself a book party.
  – Just pull any book off the shelf and cover the author’s picture with a nice photo of yourself. 

Chapter 8
Pretend that you were kidnapped by elves and go to the movies.
 – Leave a tiny ransom note by the dog’s water dish along with a tiny green felt hat.

Chapter 9
Do research on the Internet.
 – You’ll get sucked into the black hole of cyberspace and never set foot on mother earth again.

Chapter 10
Type the same sentence over and over again until you drop.
 – I suck as a writer and have no business in writing anything but emails to friends or letters to editors about neighbors tossing garbage on my lawn for the deer to eat.

Happy New Year! 
Do you have any advice about anything?


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