Image via Wikipedia Migratory Habits and Behavior (based upon the post on workingwith weasels) Workplace Habitat Although Weasels live in underground areas and in places they cannot be found, every morning they migrate to office buildings in suburban and urban areas where they inhabit cubicles and/or tiny offices that are often mistaken for utility closets…. Continue reading
Post Category → Satire
Sick of Pharmaceutical Ads – Ask Your Doctor about Pharm Blocker
Pharm Blocker THE BETTER BETA BRAIN BLOCKER http://www.flickr.com/photos/quinnanya/ / CC BY-SA 2.0 If you experience feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, or despair while watching pharmaceutical commercials, you may be suffering from Pharm Ad Psychosis or PAP. Pharm Blocker, taken once a day, eliminates symptoms associated with PAP by increasing serotonin levels to the brain, which prevents… Continue reading
Road Rage Etiquette Friday
10 Rules for Avoiding Arrest or Injury on the Road 1. After cutting off a driver, always check your rearview mirror to ensure you haven’t left the car in a burning heap by the side of the road. If you should see flames shooting into the sky along with thick black smoke, call 911,… Continue reading
Unemployment Dayjà vu
On Unemployment Time I open my eyes and regard the alarm clock on my nightstand. “Oh God, it’s you again.” Nothing has changed. I’m still on unemployment time — the fifth time zone located in the middle of a daydream, where time moves like a waffle ball. “What day is it?” I ask my dog… Continue reading
A Headstone Can’t Roll Yet Gathers Moss
Only a medium with a reliable spirit source could answer such a question. Unfortunately, most ghosts are flighty, show up unannounced, and leave cold spots on the living room rug. If I were a ghost, I wouldn’t even hang out in a cemetery; I would haunt a five-star hotel in Cozumel. Lately, death has been… Continue reading
Bonging in Britain continues as Big Ben Celebrates a 150-year tradition
Over the years, the styles of bongs have changed but the consistency of bonging hasn’t. After 150 years of bonging, Big Ben still stands straight and tall, a prominent fixture of the London skyline along with the fog that engulfs it. However, the chemistry of fog, long determined to be a natural phenomenon of London’s… Continue reading
Birthline Cruises: Disembarking the Mother Ship
Port of Call – Maternity Ward GREETER Hello. I’d like to welcome you here after your long journey. BABY Thanks, but I have to tell you that I’m miffed. After nine months on the high seas and that schlep through the terminal, I expected better service after disembarking. Instead, some scary-looking guy, with no nose… Continue reading
Low Fly Zone
Aeronautical Abstract: Pilots with ADD (Altitude Dysfunction Deficit) Ten Warning Signs that a Pilot has Altitude Dysfunction Deficit: • The pilot radios ahead for you to move your lawn furniture • You can read the part number beneath the plane • The Cessna fights for a spot at the bird feeder • You can identify… Continue reading
Jobless Purgatory
Out of work! Out of sight! Out of mind! The unemployed exist in an alternate universe where Oprah lives and offers a world of possibilities, while Monster.com and HotJobs.com only offers virtual promises. I Love the Smell of Wite-Out in the Morning Wite-Out is one of those distinctive odors found in an office. I didn’t… Continue reading
Worklings: Office Politics
Opie 1 is sad. Boss’s Son now works (kind of) at the office. Boss’s Son thinks he’s special. So does Boss. That’s why Boss gave Boss’s Son Opie 1’s biggest accounts. To smooth things over, Boss takes Opie 1 to his favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch. Opie 1 orders the most expensive thing on the… Continue reading