When You’re RosettaStoned. (with THC Tombstone Technology) Do you pay hundreds of dollars for just a two-minute dialog with an expired relative (always check the date of sale)? With a RosettaStoned Memorial, you pay a one-time fee for unlimited calls to the dead and a lifetime of memories. Disclaimer: weed not included. Just press the… Continue reading
Post Category → Satire
Spam–What is it good for?
A scammer’s email that dropped into my spam folder like bird excrement @centrum.cz> @centrum.cz> Subject: kindly consider my proposal. (Reply: kindly go f**k yourself) Good Day (good riddance) Let me start by apologizing the manner at which i approached you without prior communication. (your present communication ain’t so great either). I am Patrick Chan,… Continue reading
iPad Companion Product – the iFlo.
iFlo Accessories iDouche – Cache cleaner iPMS – Kills viruses and anything else that gets in the way iMidol – Relieves desktop water retention iPlug – USB flash stick stops memory leaks iProzac – Prevents hard drive crashes iStridex – Wipes oily buildup off case iPill – Monthly periodic maintenance program iRecall – Extra… Continue reading
NASA plumbing rates skyrocket, as urine clogs space station recycling system.
The million dollar clog. Astronaut urine clogs space station water recycler | News.com.au In the international space station, astronauts, as well as their back teeth, are floating due to a clog in the water recycling system. Since drilling a well in the space-time continuum wasn’t an option, NASA had no choice but to send urine… Continue reading
Women better at parallel parking baking dishes than cars
Women worse at parking than men, study shows – Telegraph The truth is I can’t cook or park. By using a completely absurd title, I will attempt to prove a point here that may take a bit of meandering. Please stick with me on this one and help humor me by reading… Continue reading
With jobs like these, who needs enemas?
REAL JOBS – FAKE JOB DESCRIPTIONS ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Administrative assistant needed for bus. For those who love to travel and make unnecessary stops. Recreation Therapist Looking for people who are specialists in restless slide syndrome, compulsive swinging disorder, and social climbing complex. We’ll Pay You To Process ®Dish Network Orders Online This employer listed five different… Continue reading
Hello Dearest E-mail from Rwanda – Bad Investment /Grammar
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam Hello Dearest, (We’re not even on speaking terms.) Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. My name is Julet Desmond the only daughter of late Mr.and Mrs.Desmond. (How late?) MY FATHER ( Dr PHILIP DESMOND THE CHAIRMAN MANAGING DIRECTOR OF DESMOND &… Continue reading
Ask Your Doctor About the Pharma Collection: A Pill Pack Gift for Any Occasion
You’ve got the symptom! We’ve got the cure! via Got the blues? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mother-in-law in town? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mad at a spouse? – We’ve got several pills for that – from our Anniversary Collection. Every beautifully designed Pharma Pill Pack… Continue reading
Visiting Nerds of Silicon Valley – Certified IT/Healthcare Professionals
The only computer/healthcare agency equipped to handle victims of hard drive head trauma A CUSTOMER LETTER Dear Visiting Nerds, After Uncle Ned, a retired Citrus Fruit Dyer, hit his head on the hard drive of his computer and passed out, I immediately got round the clock home healthcare assistance. Unfortunately, the accident rendered Uncle Ned… Continue reading
Nightmare on Main Street – Never Released Sequel to Nightmare on Elm Street
Image via Wikipedia Dare to dream . . . You’ll likely be screwed! SETTING Suburban office of floundering Magazine Publisher of Poop Nation, Waiting for ToGo, and Stool Time. CHARACTERS LINDA LINKSY: A middle-aged woman, who is a perpetual dreamer in an obsessive, compulsive sort of way; a busy social secretary (never at her desk)… Continue reading