Image via Wikipedia In eighty-degree heat, my son graduates with an associate’s degree. He moves on to a four-year school.We move on to find our chairs.We sit. Nearby, a baby cries.Make that ten babies. At the podium, the speaker is a board chair.I’m bored in a chair. Same thing, sort of. In the audience, a… Continue reading
Post Category → Humor
Lost in the Shuffle.
Image via Wikipedia Counter-clockwise, with a 4/4 beat. Life does the two-step.
Office Noir: Grim and Grimmer, Part Deux.
A FASHION STATEMENT. Image via Wikipedia GRIM Sneezes. GRIMMER God bless you. GRIM So, now you’re working for him? GRIMMER Who? GRIM God. You just told him to bless me. GRIMMER It’s an expression. GRIM It’s an admission of narcissistic arrogance. GRIMMER I am the furthest thing from arrogant. I’m the rug that everyone walks… Continue reading
We’re a Nation of Mutts.
Please stick with me on this because I’m going to be pulling a lot of this blurbage out of my ass. I know. Not a pretty image, but I have to get this out, because frankly, it’s constipating. Woody Guthrie said it best with the song, This land is your land, this land is my… Continue reading
Next Exit Past Asylum Street.
Image by Robert Dalgleish Copithorne via Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertcopithorne/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 On the road, Mom, Dad, and son head to college admissions. We’re watching all the signs. Just passed Asylum Street. A warning. On the shoulder, a discarded sneaker left standing.Farther down the road, another sneaker on its side. Where are the feet? I… Continue reading
Office Noir: Grim and Grimmer.
Image by The U.S. National Archives via Flickr GRIMI’m so busy answering phones I don’t have time to complain. I’m not happy unless I complain. I have to let the outsiders know that I’m a martyr. But, it’s too easy to use the front door. There’s got to be another way out of here. GRIMMER… Continue reading
Fasten Your Brain Belts. Turbulence Ahead.
On my way home, I lost my way once again, this time ending up on a road to nowhere with signs along the way that said, “Matrax.” At one point, I passed a lone shack with two men in front having a conversation, or so I thought . . . I THINK, THEREFORE I AM… Continue reading
My Lawn – The Axis of Evil.
Post Cuttings – Spring Edition. (transplanted and re-potted) I search my lawn for insurgent weeds. The situation is grave. The dandelions continue to advance, despite the hundreds I’ve already rooted out. I raise the alert level to red and prepare for a full-scale attack. With plastic bag in hand, I move out and quickly spot… Continue reading
Brain Deficit.
It’s like the federal deficit, except you’re not paying for my stupidity . . . yet.
The Wizard of Glob: A Tasteless Parody of a Timeless Classic.
Image via Wikipedia WE’RE OFF TO FIND THE BUTTER. Recently, I stopped at a b-rated supermarket where the food and aisles have been downsized to accommodate a few average-sized shoppers and carts at a time, in addition to a menagerie of Munchkins. You know, snotty-nosed knee-knockers wielding mini-shopping carts like weapons. Passing through the automatic… Continue reading