A Blogger Looks Back to 2009 and Asks, Why Am I Here?



I started blogging back in May 2009 shortly after I lost my job as a customer service rep at a bakery where only the baked goods were nut-free.

The gal who preceded me and the one who followed were also let go after three months. We all got the tee-shirt, but one of us didn’t survive. She killed herself several months after losing her job. The word “unstable” comes to mind. But she had help. The owner of the bakery expedited her journey into hopelessness.

I was in a dark place, too, when the owner told me, “We’re letting you go. I really need someone with more inventory management experience.”

He knew I didn’t bring that to the job when he hired me. I told him that. Nothing I said mattered. It was my time. The damage had been done.

I needed to purge dark thoughts from my head and blogged about it.


A day without work. At home trying to get organized. A problem. Always. Can’t reign in my thoughts to stabilize the content in my head. The executive function in my brain takes too many coffee breaks, gets in late, and leaves early. The proverbial cluttered mind with a desk by the window. I look outside and see trees but can’t see the forest through them.

Where will the trajectory path of my day go? Probably nowhere, fast until I look outside and see darkness but not the trees. If I squint and look up, I’ll see stars, none of them for me. Although one year, I received a star for Christmas named after me. An ex-employer’s idea of a really nifty gift. The card ended up in the garbage before I knew about shredders.

Today, I hope to deposit a check (checks and balances, you know) and get some food. Food is minimal like my thoughts. Tomorrow, I hope to get up and remember that it is Saturday and not a day that I should be working when I’m not, like today.

Blogging helped me reconnect to the world. Odd indeed since I only interacted with otherworldly types, often hidden behind an avatar.

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A Tale of Two Blog Feeds


It was the best of feeds; it was the worst of feeds … At times they worked; at times they didn’t work.

A Tale of Two Blog Feeds-ThinkSpin.com

But at least they were together, two feeds on a blog, until I discovered I could kill one off.

It would be painless. Just a quick click and then delete. There would be no remains to dispose of, no DNA to tie me to the crime scene.

But murdering a feed should not to be taken lightly. It requires some thought. There’s family to consider, readers who may drift away after I pull the plug, mourn its loss by hugging their own feeds.

Please always remember it even though it was meant to be temporary – just a Feedburner fling. We only spent two years together on WordPress.

I will think of it every time I visit the dashboard, but I won’t dwell on the loss.

I have another feed who has been my companion for many years … since we first met on Blogger – our impetuous younger days when I rarely had tech problems.

Think Spin Blogger-ThinkSpin.com

Big blogs cause big blog problems. 

Life is more difficult because of it, and because of it, a difficult decision must be made.

Do I really want to kill the feed?

The two feeds and I have been family, for a while anyway.

Do I really want to unplug one of the lifelines to my blog?

Dunno, dunno, dunno, dunno!

It’s hard to cut your losses, but sometimes it’s the only way to move on.

*sigh* R.I.P. Feed 2.

Please light a candle in its memory every time you turn your computer on.

If you subscribed to Think Spin on WordPress, please subscribe again. I’d hate to lose you. You are the engine that drives this blog. Thank you for sticking by me all these years.

I hope Charles Dickens’ ghost doesn’t haunt me. He was a scary looking dude.

Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

P.S. – I’ll keep the feed on life support for a while longer to give you a cushion of time to change it. Thanks again!!!!



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