I Hail from Quirky

Photo from the Ridgefield Patch

Lately, the trees fall down and don’t get up. A graveyard of twigs and leaves still cover the ground from the October nor’easter that whacked our town on its way to the North Pole, which is lovely this time of year.

Polar bears slip and slide on icebergs in the frosty wilderness and take holiday on the south side of the Pole.

Three Polar bears approach the USS Honolulu, 2...

Three Polar bears approach the USS Honolulu, 280 miles from the North Pole. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

They can see Russia from their lounge chairs and enjoy watching movies about humans succumbing to suburban pratfalls in the dark. In the suburban wilderness, lights don’t shine at night and lead folks to their doors. Instead, they trip into black holes and fall into morning.

200608 - Assateague - 209803191_57656e6c6b_o -...

200608 - Assateague - 209803191_57656e6c6b_o - black hole sun - what happened?!?!?! - (by Christian) (Photo credit: Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL))

At 5:30 a.m., the alarm clock rocks the room, as orange slits of light impales the eyes.

Thud, thud, thud is the sound in my head or is it on the access road – kids playing basketball or an idea knocking in my brain. An enormous fruitful idea that I need to squeeze out my ears unless they’re clogged. Then, the ideas flow from the pen I left on the nightstand. Words scrawled in the dark I hope I can read and don’t disappoint me.

After Jim stumbles out of bed into the bathroom for a session of shower shock therapy, the dog migrates to his side and settles on the folds of the comforter left warm from the respite of a night of sleep.

In the country, a surreal air of weightlessness breathes when I breathe. I follow it down the street where sightless sky converges with faux road, that winds uphill past speckled lights in the picture windowed homes.

The Infinite Et Cetera, More Powerful Than the Next

The clerk yelled, “Next!”

Tesco punctuation

Tesco punctuation (Photo credit: cole007)

I stepped up to the counter.

“What can I get you?” he asked.

I stared at the seemingly infinite choices on the shelf.

“Well?” The clerk glared at me.

“Uh . . .”

“Hesitation is a sign of weakness. This is no place for the meek. You need fortitude to pick among all the items on the shelf. No guts, no turn. Time for you to step aside.”

I white-knuckled the counter, exhaled and then channeled the confidence of Brangelina. “I can do this,” I muttered to myself. “I’m ready,” I said.

“Too late. Next!”

I wouldn’t budge. Even the much feared tap on the shoulder from the customer next in line didn’t make me waver. “I won’t leave until I get what I came for.”

Grumbling from behind.

I glanced over my shoulder. The line had doubled in size since I had taken my place at the counter. I shrugged and turned to face the clerk.

The clerk glanced across the room. A sheen of sweat covered his brow. “Okay, okay. Just relax.” His gaze settled back onto me. “Fine. Tell me what you want, and then get out.”

A smile curved my lips. “Etc . . . ,” I said.

Et cetera I presume "etc..." is the ...

“What’s that?”

“Etc . . .  is the thing I’m looking for.”

“The power of infinite mores,” the clerk gasped. “My God, I didn’t think it was possible. Are you sure you don’t want a semi colon instead?”

“As soon as you give me et cetera, I will leave.”

The clerk’s cheeks blanched, as he whirled around to face the shelves. After searching from one end to the other, he grabbed something, turned and stuffed it into a bag.

“Is that it?” I asked.

The clerk nodded and stapled the bag shut. “Take it!”

I grabbed the bag and held it against my chest.

“Now, get out!”

“But I haven’t paid for it yet.”

“You will,” he warned. “No one gets an etc. without paying for it.”

A lump lodged inside my throat, as I followed the line out the door.

“You’re a fool,” shouted a man with a bulbous-shaped head. “We need boundaries.”

“That may be true for you,” I said. “But I always need something to look forward to.”

 What’s your favorite punctuation mark?

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