Humorous Essays Published at Mom Bloggers Club – The Accidental Blogger Unscripted Life via Network for Wives – Dental Royalty and the Gold Crown In addition my blog post, “Dead Mice Don’t Eat Cheese,” was a top pick in the WOOF Contest at PlotDog.com. WOOF Contest – Top Picks Poetry Zorlone – “Storm” – A… Continue reading
Date Archives → October 2009
Word de jour: Leaves or that which has left the trees
They’re everywhere http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmmazzoni/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 . . . on roofs, in gutters, on driveways, on lawns hiding dog poop. In the fall, a poop-finding expedition can be quite hazardous to your shoes, as well as your olfactory hardware. In a shoe-to-poop situation, having deciduous leaf wipes within reach can save your sole…. Continue reading
Anyone for a Perimenopausal Cocktail? – Dark rum with a hot estrogen blend
These are the dark days, followed by even darker nights. Maybe I should remove the lens shields from my rose-colored glasses. Damn it! I’m moody. This gloomy wet weather and gray drippy sky doesn’t help. I want to be five years old again and find a mud puddle to jump in and ruin my new black patent leather shoes…. Continue reading
Why Head Trips are Cost-Effective
Trouble free travel within the confines of your own mind HEAD TRIP INSIDER’S GUIDE: WHAT TO EXPECTNo traffic or weather delays: Unless your thoughts are backed up due to fog No charge for extra baggage: I’m working stuff out No charge for a roundtrip ticket and hotel accommodations: Delusions are free The local cuisine was… Continue reading
If evolution didn’t work, we’d all be swimming with the fishes
However, DNA evidence refutes the fish hypothesis. On a clear night in the Blogosphere, a web gazer doesn’t need Google to see the outer regions of the constellation Suburbius. Where life began in the gene pool, the first step in the evolutionary process before the steam room. But what if evolution didn’t work correctly? Many scientists… Continue reading
Slouching Towards Absurdity
Okay, so I can’t pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time . . . That doesn’t mean I’m a ditz, just ambidextrously challenged. I may be a dreamer, but I’m a pragmatist, too, as I only dream in black and white. That would explain why my life is like a Fellini… Continue reading
The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving
Image by Terry Freedman via Flickr Somethings are better left unsaid Texas man found asleep with corpse inside closet – Yahoo! News “There were two guys in the closet. They appeared to be sleeping, one was snoring and the other was deceased,” said Assistant Chief Deputy Mark Herman. “It appeared that they were doing some… Continue reading
Vending Machine Vices – Condoms and Candy Bars
An argument for staying at motels without vending machines in the lobby. There is something unseemly about a vending machine that hangs boxes of condoms next to the Twix candy bars. Such was the case at the Cheapo Motel where I stayed during a trip to Boston. The room included no amenities, no mini bar,… Continue reading
Tag – I’m It!
The Tag: Guilty or Innocent? I’ve been tagged by Kasa, a wonderful soul, who blogs at Life sure is a snoozefest!!! Kasa’s blog is more like a living room where friends come to gather to listen to Kasa’s funny, wistful, and heartfelt stories about life. Every chair in the room is occupied, as her living… Continue reading
Stuff that makes my head explode
A list of incendiary vices Prescription drug commercials about digestive or urinary problems, skin conditions, depression due to said conditions, or erectile dysfunction med symptoms that cause erections to last longer than 72 hours, sudden blindness, insomnia, and incessant howling at the moon. Squeaky supermarket carts with broken wheels stuck in a perpetual right-hand turn… Continue reading