How to Think Like a Writer

  Most people think like this: ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&W­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­B&WB&W But writers think like this: !?^~*€¥§‡««¤µ†~*¿!?^~*€¥▼{‡¬««µ†~^~*€¥▼{£§‡«¤µ We can’t help ourselves. While driving to work I think about imaginary characters, or the tarp in the back of the truck in front of me that looks like there’s a body beneath it, or the street… Continue reading

Write Something. Damn it! Who cares if it’s crap, literally?

  A conversation with myself because no one else will listen. Why don’t I feel like writing? – Arctic spring weather? Green goop in China? Wrist Apnea? Lame, lame and lame. Just strike the damn keys until something appears – Black-and-blue words, broken letters… Cut the crap! You’re being lazy. No one gets anywhere by being lazy. You’ve… Continue reading

The Internet ADHD Experiment

  Scientists using the focally-challenged as lab rats. The Internet is more addictive than crack because it’s as pervasive as air. Earlier today, the Fantasy News Network (FNN) uncovered a massive secret program in which ADHD individuals are unwittingly being used as test subjects in one of the most ambitious experiments in human history, in… Continue reading

Broken News in Boston!

  CNN, the Crap News Network   Hi, this is Blitz Geezer in Boston along with John Bland, Lance Fancy Pants and Tapioca Pudding.   ALL THE NEWS BOBBLEHEADS NOD INDEFINITELY.   BLITZ GEEZER Since we don’t have anything new to report, we’ll talk incessantly about nothing, Tapioca.   LANCE FANCY PANTS No thank you. I… Continue reading