You’ve got the symptom! We’ve got the cure! via Got the blues? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mother-in-law in town? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mad at a spouse? – We’ve got several pills for that – from our Anniversary Collection. Every beautifully designed Pharma Pill Pack… Continue reading
Self Portrait (after baking in the sun) Wednesday’s child is full of woe, as is lobster night if you’re a lobster or happen to look like one. After mistaking the green tube of shampoo for after sun aloe, my arms were oh so clean but still blazing red hot from the sun. That’s when… Continue reading
A Story About a Club Soda, a Light Bulb, and a Psychotic Bartender It was Mr. Hoss’ bad luck to stop by the Glum Street Bar on his way home from the light bulb store, after getting a tan at the Salon Du Jour. If only he didn’t have a hang over from the night… Continue reading
Are you a debitante? “Nothing says give me a break like a slap of a credit card in hand.” The sales lady said. “Yes,” the others echo while standing in line across the room, sinking into the soles of their bottomless shoes. They wait their turn to choose between heaven and hell, staring at the… Continue reading
Every one ducks for cover in the senate commissary.
Want to Exercise? Pick Your Poison. Sweat by Jog, Gym, or Treadmill? Jogging the Wallet There is something glamorous about jogging in a Moxie Skirt and Fizz Tank Top until you to start to run and unsightly sweat stains leave an indelible mark on your pride and your new tank top. Jogging is too damn… Continue reading
The only computer/healthcare agency equipped to handle victims of hard drive head trauma A CUSTOMER LETTER Dear Visiting Nerds, After Uncle Ned, a retired Citrus Fruit Dyer, hit his head on the hard drive of his computer and passed out, I immediately got round the clock home healthcare assistance. Unfortunately, the accident rendered Uncle Ned… Continue reading
Searching For My Brain I once had a brain but it went MIA above the yondering blue where the space ships cruise in weightlessness. That’s where my brain is—somewhere in space—the final frontier—floating in a vacuum of nothingness. In space, there is no air or reason to put on airs. Everyone looks the same hermetically… Continue reading