Food Fright For me, the kitchen is a scary place with sharp, jagged knives, fire-breathing stove top burners, and a refrigerator door that beeps incessantly when open, driving the most rational person insane. Even the sink is a slippery slope with a maniacal soap spout that kills innocent bacteria spores frolicking in an ocean of… Continue reading
YOU MAY BE MENOPAUSAL IF . . . • your head is so far up your ass you need Google earth to find it • you weep uncontrollably during pharmaceutical commercials at the recitation of possible side effects • a glass of Pinot Noir tastes like fermented cow dung • you regard flowers and other… Continue reading
Be back in a day or two, as soon as I can find a way through the clouds.
Image by labguest via Flickr thought doodling and loop-de-loops slows traffic in my brain. http://www.flickr.com/photos/labguest/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 Something doesn’t pass the smell test. Not in the odor sense but in the seemingly color sharp cinematography of the alleged real world. No popcorn or Junior Mints here. Just the dark schism of elitism and holier than… Continue reading
Humorous Essays Published at Mom Bloggers Club – The Accidental Blogger Unscripted Life via Network for Wives – Dental Royalty and the Gold Crown In addition my blog post, “Dead Mice Don’t Eat Cheese,” was a top pick in the WOOF Contest at PlotDog.com. WOOF Contest – Top Picks Poetry Zorlone – “Storm” – A… Continue reading
They’re everywhere http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmmazzoni/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 . . . on roofs, in gutters, on driveways, on lawns hiding dog poop. In the fall, a poop-finding expedition can be quite hazardous to your shoes, as well as your olfactory hardware. In a shoe-to-poop situation, having deciduous leaf wipes within reach can save your sole…. Continue reading
These are the dark days, followed by even darker nights. Maybe I should remove the lens shields from my rose-colored glasses. Damn it! I’m moody. This gloomy wet weather and gray drippy sky doesn’t help. I want to be five years old again and find a mud puddle to jump in and ruin my new black patent leather shoes…. Continue reading
Trouble free travel within the confines of your own mind HEAD TRIP INSIDER’S GUIDE: WHAT TO EXPECTNo traffic or weather delays: Unless your thoughts are backed up due to fog No charge for extra baggage: I’m working stuff out No charge for a roundtrip ticket and hotel accommodations: Delusions are free The local cuisine was… Continue reading