Image via Wikipedia When I stepped outside to get some air,I got the fire and brimstone in my hair The sky was dark as midnight, as dirty as coalThen thousands of Locusts swarmed up my nose My sinuses throbbed, thought they might explodeI couldn’t find a tissue and that really blows I’m enraptured with the… Continue reading
Post Category → Humor
Reality Check: Testing, Four, Five, Six.
Image via Wikipedia Thump! Thump! Thump! Buzz. Whir. Pluff. Silence. I can’t hear you! Cease reality check. Commence email check. There are now 1520 emails in my inbox. Last time I checked there were 1301. The Google says, “You are currently using 648 MB (8 %) of your 7576 MB.” I’m making progress. Not much… Continue reading
Is that a Cell Tower in Your Yard or Do You Just Glow Girl?
On a murky moonless night, in a bucolic New England town with few streetlights and many twisted ankles, a 150-ft Cell Tower Cyborg disguised as a tree descended from the sky… …landing in a blurry residential neighborhood in Ridgefield, CT. Angry citizens stormed the streets in a black and white section of town where… Continue reading
Reality Check: Testing, One, Two, Three.
Image by mikebaird via Flickr A sustained screech of the microphone. “I can’t hear you!” Cease reality check. Commence email check. There are 1256 emails in my inbox. Make that 1301. I’m trying to see how many emails I can stockpile before my mailbox explodes. The Google says, “You are currently using 526 MB (6%)… Continue reading
A History of Jobs – Part 1
Phantom jobs linger in the fourth dimension of employment history, also known as job purgatory. My first phantom job occurred at an ad agency and lasted as long as a pregnancy. During the final trimester, I spent my days practicing Lamaze breathing, while doing the doggy paddle in the deep end of the secretarial pool. After several near drownings… Continue reading
Dog Steals Ham. It’s Virginia. Not the Dog.The Ham.
Last night Jenny stole a pound of deli ham from the counter. One second it was there, the next – poof, gulp slurp. She had scarfed it down, a groovy Scooby snack. For Jenny, food layovers are never out of bounds and certainly never out of reach. It’s hunting after the fact and more like… Continue reading
Why Power Owtages Hurt?
Image via Wikipedia Imagine Life without Heat, Hot Water or HBO. Last Sunday while watching a pharma commercial on depression, the TV suddenly went dark along with the rest of the house. Since it was morning, the dark was more of a dim white – not a dim wit. The dogs seemed rather nonplussed about the sudden… Continue reading
19 Questions to Stress Over or I’ve got a Memegraine.
I got tagged by Rebecca at The Snee, who is a hilarious satirist, fella New Englander and bloggy buddy. My assignment. To answer the following 19 questions to the best of my abilities or to the best of a highly intelligent amoebae’s abilities. 1. if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals,… Continue reading
How Deep is Your Snow – To the Tune of How Deep is Your Love w/Barking Dogs.
While taking my poor convalescing mutt, Jenny, for a walk on the front lawn, I got heel dragged across the snow, despite the surgical collar she wore. Think Queen Elizabeth. See the resemblance? Jenny dragged me until I slipped, releasing the retractable lead that used my face to stop the backward slide. After stars stopped… Continue reading
Ideas Stew in a Crockpot not a Crackpot.
Image via Wikipedia Metaphorically Speaking. I write even when I don’t write. Thoughts simmer in my head like a Crockpot stew, as extraneous distractions, potatoes and carrots, pop to the top of the meaty brew. But where’s the beef? Holding its breath at the bottom. While thoughts simmer, the aroma wafts into my brain at… Continue reading