My name is Lauren and I’m a 404-aholic.
I first realized I had a linking problem when Mike from We Work for Cheese told me about a defective link in the post, Canadians Blamed for Blast of Frigid Air or is that Frigidaire?
I accidentally added an “http” at the end of the address, which resulted in a “404 not found.”
Pfft! Bloody, “oops…404 error.”
Don’t pity me or other 404-aholics like me, those who may be afraid to admit they have a problem, afraid that people will pity their stupidity.
I will never make excuses for my dysfunction, which is clearly due to an HTML disability, the root of the problem traced to my family history and an anomaly in the linking gene.
So, I set Mike’s broken link in a cast and continued blogging and linking and falling asleep on my desk when writing late at night.
Sleep is optimum blogging time for me. I rarely get into trouble during a REM cycle, except for an occasional dust up with a character in a dream. Like Nancy in “Nightmare on Elm Street,” I never get bludgeoned to death or end up duct taped to an exploding chair.
Face it. Shit happens at night in our dreams and during the day in real life.
This is real life. Right? Pinch me!
A month later, online and awake again, another linking slip-up in a post, a review of Luke Armstrong’s book, How We Are Human.
While reviewing the post after publishing it – like buying a car before test driving it – I noticed I had omitted a word from a sentence and had included a moldy link to Luke’s website: lukespartacus.com. I discovered this after I clicked on the link and got a 404 page error.
Another day. Another oops…404 error.
At that point, I entered a linking program with Dr. Drew, where I work on abstaining from one last hit of HTML.
Sadly, I fear I will never be able to completely give up linking, as it is inherent in what I do.
Last week, I went on a linking bender, failed an HTML webalyzer test and lost my browsing license. Going forward, I think I’ll be okay if I link responsibly and never, ever link while driving.
Do you have a linking problem?