Written on February 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm by

The Ten Canine Commandments

Filed under Cultural Satire, Dogs {11 comments}

Jenny after breaking one of the Canine Commandments

  1. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s leg
  2. Thou shall not chase the cat when she wanders into mutt air space
  3. Thou shall not abduct a sock, shoe or glove from a wedded pair
  4. Thou shall not kill a rodent and leave it fermenting on the bed
  5. Thou shall not blight my clothing with thy muddy paw prints
  6. Thou shall not bark whilst thy pet parents are soundly sleeping
  7. Thou shall not steal a meatloaf from the counter
  8. Thou shall not gut feather pillows on the front lawn
  9. Thou shall not feast from the cat litter box buffet
  10. Thou shall not lick my face after wiping thy ass with thy tongue

Please add to the list. The Commandments aren’t written in stone.

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  • ReformingGeek

    Oh my.  I need to do this for cats. 

    How about “Thou shall not adorn they neighbor’s lawn with soft, stinky remnants of your digested food.”

    • http://thinkspin.com/ Lauren

      Yuck! There’s nothing worse than soft, stinky, digested food remnants. Oh, yes there is – stepping in them.

  • http://thesnee.typepad.com/blog/ THE SNEE

    Can I bwahahaha two posts in a row!!!? I could add so many commandments, but I will start here.
    “Canines, hear me now!  Thou shallt regularly groom thyself to decrease the deposition of fur on domestic surfaces. 

    • http://thinkspin.com/ Lauren

       I love bwahahahas. Absolutely! Shedding should be extracted from all pet DNA.

  • Juneohara65

    Thou shalt not steal a meat loaf from the counter? LOL. When I had two cats, they once got a raw roast beef from the counter and dragged it all over my apartment. Not happy!

    Always, Lauren, you come up with such clever stuff.

    • http://thinkspin.com/ Lauren

      Oh God. Never thought of cats as partners in crime. My dogs team up to wreak havoc on the house. I once caught the two of them dragging a pillow down the stairs. Jenny’s taller so she’s the one who steals the meatloaf and chicken breasts from the counter.

      Thanks June. Gotta run. Have a date with a raccoon.

  • http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Comedy Plus

    Some really good ones and especially that last one.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Have a terrific day.  :)

    • http://thinkspin.com/ Lauren

      Thanks Sandee.

      You need to be diligent on the last one in particular. You just don’t know what’s been getting a licking.

  • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

    Which one did she break?    ”Thou shall not turn up thy nose at what is served thee.”  ”Thou shall not give me the stink eye because what I’m eating looks better.”   “Thou shall not gloat when I give in and share.”   In my defense, how do I resist that face?    

    • http://thinkspin.com/ Lauren

      Love the picture!!!! How cute.

      It’s tough to tell yell at Jenny,
      or Jake, because they’re so damn cute even when I find a bag of cotton
      balls scattered all over the family room.

      I know. Dogs are such snobs.

      Jenny has broken everyone but the first and last one. We are on high alert here to avoid a stinking licking.

      I know. Dogs are such snobs.

      Jenny has broken everyone but the first and last one. We are on high alert here to avoid a stinking licking.

      • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

        Fortunately, there’s not much that Dixie can reach.

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