Let the pepper spraying and debauchery begin!
Why do we need so much stuff?
A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff . . . And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you’re saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!
We’ve got supersized stuff and the über tiny. Matterhorn high TVs that go through the roof and miniature stereos you can hide up your nose.
Stuff we’ve got to get before someone else does, stuff for which we’ll pay any price or tackle anyone who gets in the way.
Just a quick elbow to the nose or Stooge finger poke in the eye, and you’ll get the stuff before the flunky to your right.
Who cares if you use your first-born for a down payment? That eliminates the sucking sound from baby’s money-pit lips, which just means more stuff for you.
Better to surround yourself with a hoarder-size wall of useless crap than with people who always give you crap.
So, after you stuff the bird then stuff your mouth, go ahead and stuff your house.
Maybe you’ll find space left for one butt cheek on the couch to crouch, while watching your new 1K-inch flat-panel TV — with brain-exploding, ear-bleeding, supersonic surround sound.
And if you buy one now — every time it sucks the shiny stuff out of your mind, your brain will automatically shut itself down.