Black and Blue Friday/Bankruptcy Monday

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Let the pepper spraying and debauchery begin!

Why do we need so much stuff?




George Carlin’s Spin on Stuff:

A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff . . . And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you’re saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!

We’ve got supersized stuff and the über tiny. Matterhorn high TVs that go through the roof and miniature stereos you can hide up your nose.

Stuff we’ve got to get before someone else does, stuff for which we’ll pay any price or tackle anyone who gets in the way.

Just a quick elbow to the nose or Stooge finger poke in the eye, and you’ll get the stuff before the flunky to your right.

Who cares if you use your first-born for a down payment? That eliminates the sucking sound from baby’s money-pit lips, which just means more stuff for you.

Better to surround yourself with a hoarder-size wall of useless crap than with people who always give you crap.

So, after you stuff the bird then stuff your mouth, go ahead and stuff your house.

Maybe you’ll find space left for one butt cheek on the couch to crouch, while watching your new 1K-inch flat-panel TV — with brain-exploding, ear-bleeding, supersonic surround sound.

And if you buy one now — every time it sucks the shiny stuff out of your mind, your brain will automatically shut itself down.

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  1. Comedy Plus

    I don’t need so much stuff.  I don’t have credit card debt.  I don’t live beyond my means.  That’s what is wrong with much of this country.  Lots of people are living beyond their means.  I don’t venture out on black Friday.  That’s for the pepper spray crowd.  The elbow to the ribs crowd.

    Have a terrific day.  :)

  2. ReformingGeek says:

    Please, no more stuff but I will take some more stuffing, thanks.


  3. Sohail Ishaque says:

    Nice blog… but yeah can’t go for all that options :)..  I have to stay in my pants..

  4. Juneohara65

    I always loved that George Carlin routine. About stuff, I have very strong feelings. I have limited space and am always wondering what I can throw out the window next to make more room. I also threaten people, “Give me a knick-knack and I’ll harm you.”

    • Lauren

      Do people dive out of the way of window flung projectiles on the street below? Knick-knack paddy whack. PBS just ran a George Carlin Tribute and played that clip about stuff. What a wordsmith.

  5. I do a “stuff” clearance about once a year.  I’m ruthless too.  Even if Dear Auntie Rue gave me that little cat figurine, right before she died, it’s in the bin.  I don’t get “stuff”for me, but people do give me stuff.  Some of it is great!  Some of it “not so much”.  I am not a collector of “doo dads” or cute little dust collectors.  People give them to me and I put them on a table or something for a while, and then I toss them.  I do shop for Christmas presents for my grandkids and since they all love clothes, it’s not that hard to do on line.

  6. Just Ask The Boss says:

    Hey I really like your blog! I followed you! Check mine out at I want to know your opinion on it. Thank you. 

  7. Jayne

    I heard on the news today that the average shopper on Black Friday sent $400.   Who the hell are these people?   I thought everyone was broke.    Nice comment on our never-ending quest for stuff, my friend.

    God, I miss George Carlin.  

  8. Lawyer Now says:

    It’s no wonder that with the average person’s inability to live within their means that there were over 1.5 million bankruptcies filed for in 2010 alone.

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