Totally Retro-spective!

Some simple cutout cookie cuttersImage via Wikipedia

When I started blogging two plus years ago, I had zero readers but that was irrelevant. Having an outlet to keep me sane was my prime directive.

Earthly writing also kept me sane but required at least 5,000 words, the typical length of a short story, my chosen literary genre.

Whereas, blog posts averaged 300 words, a shorter less formal vehicle for spewing my thoughts. No fuss. No muss. No rejections from editors. During that emotionally fragile time, I couldn’t handle failure on a creative level when I had already been leveled on the 9-5 playing field.

Current playing field hours 11-4 — Priceless!

This weird trip I’m on began two years ago after I left my job of nearly ten years for what I thought would be an opportunity working as a customer service rep for a bakery where the cupcakes were nut-free, but the owner was not.

Image via Wikipedia
Three months later, as I sifted through online job sites for other employment opportunities, I saw my job posted on Craigslist. When I confronted the head pistachio in charge, he confirmed my suspicions.

I learned through a clandestine call from the production manager, who was hiding off site in the bakery, that the gal who preceded me was also let go at the three month mark, which also turned out to be true with gal number three, who followed me … out the door. They say that bad things happen in threes.  

One of these days, we’ll find out who they are.

In the bakery business, they also like to say, “That’s how the cookie crumbles,” an old cookie cutter proverb.

If only my days had cookie cutter boundaries. A wise old woman, who also happens to be my mother, once said, “You need structure.” Mothers always seem to know. After all, they have eyes in the back of their heads. At least most moms do. I’m a mother, too, but don’t possess rear-view vision. The only object that appears larger in my mirror is my butt.  I can’t see ten feet in front of me or ten feet behind my behind.

That is why the road I travel in life requires a GPS system and a street with double yellow lines. Without lines, my ADD mind veers off onto the breakdown lane or takes the next exit to windy back roads.

ADD tangents lead my thoughts astray, a directionless joyride that never ends. On an ADD trip, Point A never leads to Point B and usually ends up at Point P, Q, or Z. All the while the calendar on the wall and clock just laugh at me.

Soon after the bakery owner cut off my dough, I moved into a blog lot in Blogger Shanty town and started writing about my daze while sending out hundreds of resumes into the employment black hole.

My first post on Friday, May 29, 2009 summed up my predisposition for getting lost in my head, the ADD road map to nowhere.

Today Friday

A day without work. At home trying to get organized. A problem. Always. Can’t reign in my thoughts to stabilize the content in my head. The executive function in my brain takes too many coffee breaks, gets in late, and leaves early. The proverbial cluttered mind with a desk by the window. I look outside and see trees but can’t see the forest through them …

As I look out the window at 12:00 a.m., all I see is the black glut of night. I know the trees are there somewhere. I guess I’ll have to wait until daylight to see them.

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