2010 Primary: They Kill Oak Trees, Don’t They?

CANDIDATES STUFF MAILBOXES WITH DEAD TREES.

Dissected Tree Corpses.

It’s election day in Georgia, Colorado, Minnesota, and Connecticut. Since I live in Connecticut, I will concentrate on that state. In the Democratic Senatorial race there are three contenders: Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, Merrick Alpert – not to be confused with Marv Albert, arrested for allegedly biting his girlfriend – and Roger J. Pearson, who has no picture. Scroll down the page to the blank square above Pearson’s name.


The race looks like a cakewalk for Richard Blumenthal, who sometimes says things as if in the throes of a sugar rush, like this statement he made at a ceremony honoring veterans:

“We have learned something important since the days that I served in Vietnam,” Mr. Blumenthal said to the group gathered in Norwalk in March 2008. “And you exemplify it. Whatever we think about the war, whatever we call it — Afghanistan or Iraq — we owe our military men and women unconditional support.”

We learned something important, too. Richard Blumenthal never served in Vietnam. But let’s stop ducking from enemy fire for a moment and come to terms with the fact that politicians are salespeople and will say anything to get elected.

Sometimes, politicians need a not so gentle reminder that audio-carrying reporters can immortalize politicians words. The New York Times gently reminded Mr. Blumenthal of that fact in this article, Candidates Words on Vietnam Service Differ from History. I apologize for the ad that precedes the article. Just press skip.

Now to the Democratic gubernatorial nomination and the contenders. In one corner, Ned Lamont, a businessman and former Senatorial Candidate. In 2006, Lamont lost the Senate race to Cup of Joe Lieberman, who had originally lost the Democratic Senate Primary to Lamont. After Lieberman lost his party’s nomination, he quickly found Political God in the Independent Party. He should have known that Democrats don’t like their coffee with sour milk.

In the other gubernatorial corner, stands Dan Malloy, former four-term Mayor of Stamford, CT, who looks at the ground when he walks. Just check the picture at his website.

Both Lamont and Malloy have been too busy slinging mud at each other to let the voters know why we should give them the keys to the Governor’s mansion. Hint: It’s hidden beneath the welcome mat at the front door. This concerned citizen doesn’t want to pay more taxes for a cleaning service to wash muddy shoe prints from the marble floor.

Since I’m not a Republican, I’ll make this brief. There are three people running for Senator on the right side of the aisle: Moe, Larry, and Curly. Personally, I never cared for Shemp. Actually, the Three Stooges had a show on TV, and not a seat in Congress.

The real Republican candidates are: Linda McMahon, former CEO of WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) – Are you ready to rumble?

Peter Schiff, who can distinguish a $5 dollar bill from a $50 from thirty-feet away since he is a money manager.

Former Rep. Rob Simmons, who suspended his campaign, jumped back into the race, then ran ads saying that he would participate in several debates with McMahon and Schiff, but never did. Yeah, he sounds reliable.

Two Republicans face off to replace Governor Rell, who took office in 2006 after John Rowland pleaded guilty to corruption charges and was forced to resign. Why is politics so complicated?  In the Republican Gubernatorial race, Lt. Governor Michael C. Fedele fights for the leather high back chair and bigger office in the Governor’s mansion. His challenger, Thomas C. Foley, a Republican Party fund-raiser and ambassador under George W. Bush. Not a lot of breathing room there.

My prediction: Someone’s going to win!

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13 Comments

  1. ReformingGeek says:

    I think I was supposed to read to the blind today….or was it leading the blind today. I can't remember.

    Politicians are great blog fodder.

  2. Lauren says:

    RF: Ha! At least you weren't following the blind. A politician is the gift that keeps on giving, except when they are taking.

  3. Leeuna says:

    Ha! Love the humor. I hate elections, what with all the mud-slinging and horrible campaign ads. We should receive a tax exemption for each ad we have to suffer through. And if I'm elected, that's what I'll propose. And I agree with your prediction. Good call.

  4. Mrsblogalot says:

    My dog voted.

    My prediction: someone will get peed on.

  5. THE SNEE says:

    Very funny! I loved the dissected tree corpses and the concept of stuffing mail boxes with dead trees. Maybe my head feels confused about the elections because of all that tree cutting….I hear oxygen deprivation can effect the mind…..Thanks for the laugh! Found you through blog catalog.

  6. Lauren says:

    Thanks Leeuna. I also hate the robo-calls. My son said, "I don't even get the satisfaction of slamming down the phone." We should get an exemption for that, too. Great idea! I hope you get elected.

  7. Lauren says:

    Mrs. B: LOL! Great prediction! Do you find that most dogs are Republicans or Democrats? My dogs eat grass, so they lean pee to the left.

  8. Lauren says:

    The Snee. Thanks for swinging by, although vines are few and far between these days with all the tree cutting. I'm also lightheaded from oxygen deprivation. I keep thinking that I voted and dropped my form in the ballot box but it was really dissected tree corpses falling into the garbage can.

  9. megaman says:

    Actually would just like to say that I'm sorry your prediction will come true. We'd be better off if no one wins.

  10. Lauren says:

    Megaman,

    I agree. In fact, when someone wins, everyone loses. I liked Mrs. B's prediction better – that someone would get peed on. She was right in a respect, however, it was my female dog that was peed on … by my other dog, a male with bad aim. Nothing kinky.

  11. aldon says:

    As a political blogger from Connecticut, I need to point out a few errors. Alpert ended his campaign at the Democratic Convention quite a while ago. Roger Pearson ended his even longer before that. Neither were in the primary on Tuesday.

    As to the Blumenthal issue about serving during Vietnam, he did serve stateside and in the vast majority of the times that he has spoken to veterans groups, he has always been very clear to his audience that he served stateside. However, over twenty years, researchers for the McMahon campaign did find around half a dozen times that he misspoke, and fed this to the New York Times. While the Times has run with it, journalism professors in New York and Connecticut have criticized the Times for misleading reporting.

  12. Tracie says:

    I used to follow politics but after that horrible election in 2000 I couldn't stomach it anymore. (I was visiting my mom in FL at the time. I yi yi.)

  13. Lauren says:

    Aldon: Thank you for setting things straight. I used current articles as my source. At least, I thought they were current. Next time I'll triple check my sources.

    Tracie: Oh God! You were in FL in 2000, ground zero. No wonder you can't stomach politics anymore. I have to admit. After election 2000, it took me several months before I could even glance at the political section.

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